Despite his tiredness, he couldn’t leave him down there, looking like that – he’d never be able to sleep. Swallowing his anger, he pulled on the new slippers Alexander had bought for him and padded downstairs to find the kitchen door still open.
Alexander didn’t notice him; he was still lost in thought as he swung back and forth on the swing, looking old, weary, and lost, and somehow also impossibly young at the same time.
“There is an outside light,” Josiah called out softly, switching it on.
Alexander looked up, startled. “I came to say I’m sorry,” Josiah said, leaning against the doorframe. He braced himself for Alexander’s mask to return and cover his features, but it didn’t happen. Instead, he gave a tired wave of his hand.
“That’s okay. I’m sorry, too. We were both pretty heated earlier.”
Josiah stepped out into the garden. “It was my fault. You were trying to do something nice, and I overreacted. I apologise. I’m not used to having someone in my space.”
“I can understand that. This is a lot for you to get used to.”
“And you.”
Alexander shrugged. “I’ve been passed around before. It’s not so different for me.”
“I’m sorry for that, too. I know you committed a crime, but I wouldn’t wish the punishment you’ve endured on anyone.”
Alexander looked down, swallowing hard. Josiah wasn’t sure if he should go or stay. Then Alexander glanced up again, looking so dejected that Josiah had to resist an impulse to go and wrap his arms around him.
“Is it true about Charles?” Alexander asked brokenly. “He really didn’t even try to buy me?”
“No, he didn’t.” There was no point sugar-coating it.
Alexander gave a little smile that never reached his eyes. “I do understand. He wanted to walk again – who can blame him?” Alexander looked directly at him, his vulnerability laid bare. “How was he?” he whispered. “Is he okay?”
Josiah wondered what it must be like to be parted from someone you loved for so long, not because of death, or distance, but because you were no longer free to make contact.
He remembered how transfixed Alexander had been by that news report earlier – how he’d drunk in the sight of his brother on the screen, and how angry he’d been when the reporters had cornered Charles against his duck. Whatever else might be true of this man, he loved his brother dearly.
“He looked fine to me, but then I think he’s someone who isn’t affected by much,” he replied.
Alexander looked at him sharply. “You didn’t like him, did you?”
Josiah thought of Charles’s easy-going manner and bright, sweet smile. “No. I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother, but honestly – I thought he was weak and stupid.”
Alexander gave a surprised bark of laughter. “I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like Charles.”
“Well, I didn’t.”
“Do you like anyone, though?” Alexander’s eyes gleamed cheekily.
“Yes, actually I do,” Josiah retorted.
“Who, then?”
“None of your damn business.”
“You like your boss, Esther, and you like your data tech, Reed. That seems to be it among the people you work with.”
“I like our forensics tech, Mel Hamilton – and I don’t dislike Doctor Baumann.”
“Really?” Alexander sat up straight, pondering that. “Because you give every impression of hating her.”
“That’s where people read me wrong.”
“Do you like me?” Alexander peeped up at him from surprisingly shy eyes.