Page 40 of Crocodile Tears

“You shouldn’t have waited up,” he said, taking off his coat and throwing it onto a nearby chair. It missed.

“I always worry when you’re out late – I can’t sleep.” Neil retrieved his coat from the floor, then hung it up in the hallway cupboard. The flat was warm, cosy, and spotlessly clean. Neil picked up after him, did his washing, cooked for him, and made his life easier than Alex thought it had any right to be.

“So, where have you been?” Neil asked, winding an arm around his waist and kissing his cheek.

“At the club.”

“Who with?”

“Bax.”

“Oh.” Neil looked crestfallen. He didn’t know how to behave around exotic gay men like Bax and his crowd, and was often overeager to please, or boorish, or both. “I love Bax. I wish you’d asked me along.”

“The music was annoying, and the club was boring – you’d have hated it.”

“But I like hanging out with your friends. Are you ashamed of being seen with me, Alex?”

“No – I just need my space. The whole point of our arrangement is that I get to have some fun without Dad breathing down my neck. If I get you breathing down my neck instead, then what’s the use of it?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I was doing that.” Neil shot him a wounded look. “I want you to be happy. Of course I don’t mind you partying – as long as we can have some fun together, too.”

“Yeah, of course. We do, don’t we?” They shared a taste for action movies featuring hot men and often snuggled up on the sofa together to watch them, late into the night.

“At home we do, but you don’t like going anywhere with me.”

“I don’t bring anyone home with me these days,” Alex said softly. “I give you that, Neil.”

“Promise?” Neil asked. “Promise me that you’ll never bring anyone back, even when I’m not here?”

“I promise.” Alex glanced at his watch and sighed. “Damn it, it’s late, and I’ve got to get my accounts done before tomorrow.”

“No, you don’t. I did them for you while you were out. I knew you’d leave them to the last minute. I know you hate doing your accounts, and accountancy is my thing, so…”

“Thanks. It bores the pants off me, filling in all those spreadsheets.”

“I know, but you don’t need to do it anymore. I’m happy to do it for you.” Neil pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Mmm, you smell good.”

“Perfume. I met a girl tonight,” Alex told him. “A very beautiful girl called Solange.”

Neil gave a tight smile. “How nice.”

“Don’t be like that.” Alex took hold of Neil’s arm. “Come on – let’s watch a movie.”

They settled down together on the sofa, Neil pulling Alex between his legs and wrapping his arms around him, then tugging a big blanket over them both.

“Oh, I forgot. Your father rang asking what time we’d be at The Orchard tomorrow,” Neil said as the movie drew to a close. “We had a nice chat, and I let slip that I’d be alone over Christmas, so guess what? He’s invited me to stay. For the whole two weeks! Isn’t that fantastic?” His hands crept down Alex’s chest, unbuttoning his shirt as he went.

Alex fought down a familiar wave of Neil-induced claustrophobia. “Yes, fantastic,” he repeated sullenly.

“I can creep into your room at night – we’ll have to be careful, but it’ll be exciting.” Neil’s hands drifted lower. He undid Alex’s trousers and slid his hand into his boxer shorts. “I was thinking,” he whispered into Alex’s ear. “That tonight I could fuck your gorgeous arse.”

“No,” Alex said sharply.

“You always say that.” Neil pouted. “Come on, Alex – you’ve fucked my arse plenty of times – why can’t I do it to you?”

“I don’t like it,” Alex lied. He’d started denying Neil this as a way of carving out a boundary in their fucked-up relationship. Now it had become a way to torment Neil, too – and he was enjoying that far too much to stop. “We can do anything else you want, but not that.”

“Do you let other boys fuck you?” Neil asked, in a self-pitying tone. “Would you let Bax fuck your arse because he’s so beautiful, and I’m not?”

---