Page 131 of Fighting Spirit

Their acceptance does what I thought was impossible, and manages to make me feel worse. At least if they’d been pissed, I would have known I was right to not say anything.

Instead, I now know that I hurt Ruth, that I ruined everything between us, and it was all for nothing.

The shame almost chokes me and it’s hard to hold myself up in the chair. All I want to do is crawl back to my place and wallow in the self-loathing that’s become so familiar.

“Wait,” Darius asks, “You said shewasyour girlfriend?”

I groan, squeezing my eyes shut. The last thing I want to do is to relive the whole thing, but somehow, I manage to make it through the story without crying like a fuckin’ baby.

Taylor whistles. “Damn, you really fucked that one up.”

“I know,” I whisper.

“You still love her?” Christian asks.

The answer comes without hesitation, and even as it’s painful, it feels good to finally say the words. “So much.”

“Then let’s figure out how the hell we fix this.”

“Rowan?” Fitz calls from his office door as I’m heading out. “Step in here a minute.”

My heart kicks with nerves as I enter. He must have heard everything I said to the guys. Is he going to chew me out for lying? Rescind the job offer?

“Take a seat.”

I do, not able to look him in the eye. The loose thread at my knee suddenly becomes very interesting as I wait for him to speak.

“You boys need to work on your volume control if you’re gonna have secret meetings ten feet from my open door.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Look at me, son.”

It takes a second, but when I do I don’t see the face I was expecting. Fitz’s brow is furrowed, his jaw tight, but the look in his eyes is all concern.

“When you sat in here last and told me there was nothing going on, was that-”

“It was the truth.” I may not have been upfront with him, but I can’t have him thinking I lied to his face.

“Alright. But things have changed?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I see.”

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “I should have said something. I knew it was a bad idea-”

“What was?”

“Getting involved with her.”

“Why?”

His question stops me in my tracks. “You told me not to?”

“I told you to be careful. I never said not to fall in love, kid.”

“But I-”

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