Page 59 of Fighting Spirit

Chapter Twenty-Six

RUTH

ROWAN

Are you gonna keep avoiding me forever?

Iscowl down at my phone. I don’t appreciate being called out like this.

Ruth

No.

ROWAN

You don’t need to be embarrassed

Ruth

I’m not embarrassed.

ROWAN

Is that why I haven’t heard from you in two weeks?

I don’t reply because he’s right, and I hate it. Every time I’ve thought about contacting him, a giant ball of shame and anxiety bubbles in my gut until I’m ready to hurl my phone across the room. Before I can respond, my phone starts buzzing in my hand. Rowan’s caller ID flashes on the screen. He’s really not going to drop this, is he? After a little hesitation, I hit the accept icon.

“Ruth?”

“Did you call me on purpose?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh.”

“Were you hoping it was a butt dial?”

“A little.”

“Still don’t wanna talk to me, huh?” Behind the challenge in his voice, there’s a flicker of hurt. I feel sick, knowing I put it there.

“It’s not that, I just…” I let the words hang in the air.

“Yeah.”

There’s a deep exhale coming from his end and I know what’s coming before he says it. I could just hang up, turn off my phone, and hide under the covers, but I know he’d keep trying until we had it out.

“Can we talk about what happened?” His voice sounds reluctant, matching how I feel. I know that we have to clear the air, but at what cost?

“I guess we’d better,” I groan.

“Just listen, okay?” I hear a rustle, as if he’s holding a piece of paper. Did he write out a speech? “I’m not mad, or freaked out, or whatever it is you’re thinking. You don’t have to be embarrassed about what happened, it was just one of those weird things and I think it’s better if we forget about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I think that we can just chalk it up to the moment. And the fact that I’m a dumbass and drove us to a make-out spot. We probably got a little carried away.”

“Yes,” I agree, the knot in my chest loosening for the first time since that night. All I’ve wanted for the past two weeks was to go back in time and tell my past self to keep my tongue in my mouth instead of trying to put it all over Rowan, so if he wants to wipe the slate clean and never bring it up again, then that suits me fine.

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