Page 85 of Fighting Spirit

“He knows what you look like.” Georgie giggles, her back to me as she heads into her room.

“Wait, are you going?” I move like I’m going to chase after her. “You don’t wanna meet him?”

She pauses. “Do you want me to?”

“Obviously.”

“Okay, sure,” she shrugs, “if you want.”

“You don’t have to,” I rush out.

“No, I don’t mind.”

I’m about to press the point when three knocks echo from a heavy hand on the other side of the door. For a second, I’m frozen, staring at the wood as if it’s going to magically evaporate. What is wrong with me? I’m acting like a teenager with her first crush.

I guess it’s just the ‘boyfriend’ thing that’s new, but does putting a label on things really make them that much different? It’s like I was all ready to dive into a relationship when it was just an abstract, but now that it’s real, now that he’s here at my apartment, I’m floundering. What am I supposed to say to him?

“Get a grip,” I mutter to myself, storming toward the door in three long strides and grabbing the handle, throwing it open with far more force than necessary.

Rowan’s face goes from that deep scowl it seems to relax into, to shock, to a gentle smile as he takes me in. His eyes trail a slow perusal up and down my body that leaves shivers in its wake.

I don’t say anything before he steps forward, warm hands coming up to hold my face as he bends his head to mine. We’relike willows in the breeze as his nose traces a slow line against my cheek, a tiny nuzzle that has butterflies exploding.

I tip my head up in invitation and he needs nothing else, his mouth taking mine in a long kiss. It’s slow, and thorough, and has me gasping for breath when he finally releases me. He doesn’t move away, peppering a line of kisses across my cheek, pausing to nip at my ear. “I missed you,” he growls, his voice a low rumble against my skin.

“Oh,” the words escape high-pitched and breathy, “That’s good.” I cringe as soon as I say it, but Rowan doesn’t seem to mind. He bursts out in a fit of laughter, hiding his face in my hair, arms banded tightly around my waist. We end up swaying side to side, wrapped in a tight hug while we both get our giggles out.

“I missed you too,” I eventually remember to say.

“Oh,” I can feel his grin against the skin of neck, “That’s good.”

Chapter Thirty-Six

RUTH

Georgie says some brief hellos to Rowan before darting away, saying something about ‘leaving you kids to it.’

Rowan and I are left standing in the living room, and it feels like we’re teenagers. He’s my date to prom, and we don’t know what to say to one another now that my mom’s left the room. What am I supposed to do with him? I mean, I know what Iwantto do with him, but that’s probably not on the cards.

“What are you doing here?” I decide to keep it direct.

He just shrugs. “Seeing you.”

It’s then that I notice the duffel bag he’s dragged into the room after him. “Did you come straight from the bus?”

Another shrug.

“You’re feeling awfully verbose tonight,” I say, quirking an eyebrow.

“Fuck.” It’s as if he deflates slightly. “I’m sorry.”

I see the dark circles under his eyes and how he’s holding himself up, like he could be knocked over at any minute. I feel a pang of worry at my usually stalwart man looking so fragile.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” I reach out and grab his hand, tugging him toward me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just tired and…nervous, I guess?”

I realize how true it is for me as well. Now that we’ve labeled things, it’s like neither of us knows how to interact. Though things are the same, we’re also in uncharted waters. I’ve never been in a relationship before, never been someone’s girlfriend, and I’m so afraid of doing something to fuck it up.

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