Page 20 of Teach Me K-Pop

I’m supposed to have a call with Nikko this afternoon. My stomach twists at the thought. I feel like I know him now in a way I’m not sure I’m supposed to. I wonder if he would have preferred that I stayed at a distance, away from that side of his life. He’s been careful to never mention anything that would tip me off. Is this an invasion of privacy somehow? Or crossing a line?

I don’t know if I should just tell him right away or keep it to myself. Not saying anything feels dishonest. But the idea of telling him seems worse somehow.

I’ve got 10 hours to decide.

?

NIKKO

The chaos finally simmers down once everyone has grabbed everything they want—at least for now. It’s not like we won’t sneak bites off each other’s plates or steal the last servings of things when we think no one is looking. But for the moment, everyone is happily slurping their japchae and bulgogi and it’s fairly peaceful.

Even as rowdy as mealtimes can still be, it’s nothing compared to the way it was when we were trainees in our first dorm. The urgency of not knowing when we would have a break for our next meal made us all vicious, ready to fight for every scrap. Chita, Lalo, and Ryo spent as much of their time trying to keep us from stabbing each other with our flying chopsticks and making sure servings were basically equal as they did actually getting to eat anything.

Now, our gatherings around the table are more the general mayhem of six 20-something guys whose manners with each other have become questionable over the time we have been together. We’re like a family now, for better or worse, and it’s easy to let some of those things slip every now and then. Especially when we’re home in Seoul again for a little while, on a break from our tour schedule between our dates in Asia and before we visit Europe and the United States.

The quiet does not last long, though—only until Tang’s phone buzzes with a notification from some American baseball app he has downloaded, and he starts talking animatedly about what it means for some of the teams he follows. I assume most of us could probably name one of two of them if we had to, but likely not unless we were forced. Lux, who has the lowest tolerance for sports talk, cuts him off after a few minutes, interjecting that he has just recently seen news that one of his favorite books—another dystopian romance—is about to be adapted into a movie.

“Jase told me about that,” I say, turning to look at Lux, just realizing I’d forgotten to mention it to him after our conversation the other day.

I know I have made a mistake almost immediately, with the way the room goes entirely silent and all movement stops.

“Tang-ah, how long was that?” Ryo-hyung asks, slowly setting his chopsticks in the bowl in front of him.

Making a big show of checking his Rolex, Tang-hyung announces, “Nearly 12 minutes.”

Chita-hyung cocks his head. “Is that a new record?”

“Nope. That’s still at nine minutes,” Lux says between bites.

I look between the five pairs of eyes all staring in my direction. “What? What did I do?”

Ryo stands at his chair, like he’s about to give a speech, but instead adopts a sort of far-away expression, and sighs, “Jase told me.”

“Jase said this. And Jase mentioned that. Jase has the cutest dog. Jase wore a blue shirt today that matched his eyes. I’m going to watch this show Jase told me about. Sorry, I can’t go with you, I have a call with Jase tonight,” Tang teases in what I assume is supposed to be an imitation of my voice.

A wave of embarrassment washes over me and I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

Ryo notices immediately, clapping with delight. “Look at that blush!”

Chita elbows him, gazing at me fondly. “Awww, our baby is growing up!”

“Excuse me. I’m the baby around here,” Lux pouts. As much as he complains about being the youngest, he never hesitates using it to his advantage.

“Oh, we know,” Lalo-hyung jokes, jumping in for the first time. I know he’ll try to turn the conversation and attention away from me. “You never let us forget it.”

I caught the soft glance he had given me as they started to make fun of me. Lalo has always been the one who understands me best and has the most accurate gauge on my emotions.

“This isn’t about me. This is about Nikko and his huge crush on Jase.” Lux raises his eyebrow at me, all but daring me to try to deny it. And that traitor calls himself my best friend.

“I do not have a crush on Jase,” I mumble, as though saying it out loud will somehow make it true.

Ryo gasps, offended. He makes a sweeping gesture across the table. “You would sit here, in front of this food that I have slaved away to prepare for you, and lie? To me? To us? To yourbrothers?”

“Who let him watchThe Godfatheragain?” Lalo groans. “You all know the rules.”

Tang considers for a moment. “That feels more likeScarfaceto me?”

“Family is built on trust!” Ryo bellows, grabbing a serving spoon to brandish as he carries on.

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