Page 36 of Teach Me K-Pop

“Okay, so you’re just going to call me out like that then.” I try to sound like I’m joking, but he’s right and he’s very aware of that.

“I was also with them during some of their European dates, so I had plenty of chances to chat with Nikko,” he mentions casually, as though that will not make me absolutely crazy wanting to know everything they talked about.

“Kija.”

“Jase.”

“Don’t do this to me,” I plead.

He chuckles. “I thought you were just going to say hi or something. No big deal.”

And that’s all it takes to make me crack. I’ve been desperate to have someone to talk to about this, and now he’s going to get all of it. “I like him. I like him so much it’s actually kind of freaking me out. Because honestly, I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and that’s including the guys I’ve been in relationships with. He’s not like anyone I’ve ever met, and I think about him, literally, all the time. I even cut back on some of my other tutoring so I could talk to him more. He’s so smart and so funny and so thoughtful about everyone and everything.Andhe is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Inside and out. His smile makes me feel like I’m dying, but in the best possible way. And who has stars in their eyes like that? He does! Then he looks at me with them and I’m just… gone.”

“Oh, shit. Okay, you are… yeah.” Kija is quiet for a moment, seeming a little thrown off by the sudden onslaught of my emotions. “I was just going to harass you a little bit about you having a crush on each other, but it seems like we’re well past that point.”

“He told you he has a crush on me?” This takes me right back to the middle school girl “tell me everything” phase. I drop down into a chair at the kitchen table, slouching.

“I am starting to regret all of this,” Kija groans. But his tone changes to something softer as he says, “I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that he’s into you. At least it is from where I am.”

It still makes me feel giddy to hear him say that, even though Nikko himself has told me the same. “Yeah, I think the feelings are mutual.”

“He started asking about you right away. I thought it was cute at first, but then I could tell it was more than that.” There’s fondness in his voice, and I love knowing that he seems supportive of me and Nikko. “And then when you called about finding out he was famous, I was actually expecting you to tell me you were having some sort of feelings about him. Which, you were, just not exactly the ones I was anticipating at the time.”

“Did you do it on purpose?” I ask, then clarify, “Did you try to set this up? Like this? Thinking something might happen?”

“Not really? I mean, I wasn’t trying to play matchmaker like the auntie at the seojeom always used to do. I knew you’d work well together and would get along. But I didn’t think it would turn into something like this. At least not at first.” He laughs in a way that sounds kind of sweet. “It makes sense, though, when I think about it. I can see where you fit for each other.”

I don’t know what else to say about what he’s shared, but I do have to let him know I’m grateful for whatever role he played. “Thank you for making this possible.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry I won’t be around to see what happens when you two are finally in the same room.” He’s back to teasing, but it hits me that it really is a bummer he’s not traveling with them right now.

“Can’t you come over for this show? I could see both of you.” As soon as I say it, I know I don’t mean it. I don’t want to have to share my time with either of them. But right now, Nikko ranks higher on my list, even if I won’t admit that.

Kija laughs again and I know he sees right through me. “I think you and I will see each other soon. This visit, that’s for you and him.”

I know I’m smiling like a lunatic as he says that. “I hope so.”

“I’d say tell me all about it after, but you can just give me an overview. I don’t need all the details.” He pauses, like he’s thinking about it. “Yeah, I still have to work with him, so probably the less details the better.”

“Damn, Kija. What are you expecting us to do?” Getting back up, I go to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

“Besides each other?”

I spit out the sip that I have just taken and he starts laughing at the sound.

“Just… have fun. Enjoy each other. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Can I focus on trying to remember how to be a functional human when I meet him first and then worry about what comes next?” I wish I was kidding, but it’s unfortunate that I’m not.

“Oof,” Kija huffs. “You are awkward as hell around hot guys, aren’t you? It’s been a while, so that slipped my mind. But now I’m thinking about the first time you and I met and… “

“O-kay,”I interject, cutting him off.“We don’t need to revisit that right now, thanks so much.”

“Seriously, though, I think this is good for you. Both of you.”

I really hope he’s right.

I feel like he is.

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