Page 38 of Blindsided By You

“He decided I wasn’t the right one for him,” I mumble from beneath the sheet. “I wasn’t enough. Not loving enough, soft enough, sweet enough. And in other ways, I was too much. He saw my confidence and my success as a threat. He wanted something different. Someone different.”

“He cheated on you?” Geordie’s voice rises and I can feel the tense stiffening in his body lying against the length of mine.

“He said he didn’t. I believed him. I have to. If he’d been playing me for a fool, it would have been worse. But he moved on quickly. Another woman in our company. Even if they didn’t get together until after our split, I think they had an eye for each other before.”

“Is that why you went to work for the Highlanders?”

“Yeah, out of one of the worst things in my life came one of the best.” I suck in a slow breath. “They’ve been good years, career wise. They bought me the freedom I have at the moment. To work for myself. My only regret is I didn’t realise it in time to spend more time with Mum. But you can’t go back.”

“No. But Jen, you’ve still got so much ahead of you.”

“I have.”

Perhaps saying it aloud will make it true. I untwine myself from under his arm and roll to face him. Those grey-blue eyes study me in the gloom. Is this man what’s ahead of me? He is, at least for a little while, I think. And it’s nice. Him with his marshmallow centre. It’s like he recognises there’s softness inside me, too. For all our differences, we have a sameness. We can be friends. We are friends.

So, although not wanting to get my hopes up, or reach for more than I deserve, I make him an offer. A small safe one, so I can keep him close, but not so close it will wreck me when it ends. If this thing is just a bright burst of flame and quickly gutters out, I won’t be too badly burned.

“I had fun tonight. With you. We’re good together Geordie.”

In the lamplight, I study his face. His eyes spark, a flare of interest, and his mouth tips up in a smile.

“I think so.” One finger traces the curve of my nose, slips to my lips and trails down to rest between my breasts.

“So, why don’t we do this again?”

“This?” He quirks a brow, his hand continuing its downward progress, coming to rest between my thighs.

“Meet up. Have some fun. Nothing serious. Just enjoy whatever this is. No one else needs to know.”

The playful smile slips away, and an uncomfortable silence hangs between us. A swallow travels down his throat, and he bites at his lip.

“Is that what you want? Friends who just happen to sleep together?”

“Yeah.” I shrug, trying to sound casual, like it’s no big deal. I want a lot more than that. But I’ve learned. Being greedy gets you nothing. I’m going to try for something with Geordie, even if it’s less than what my silly, hopeful little heart wants. “It’s worked for us so far.”

“And no one will know.”

There’s a tone to these words I can’t fathom. It bothers me. Reading subtext is one of my superpowers—part of why I’m good at my job. But with Geordie, at this moment I’m at a loss. Is it disappointment? Sadness? Resignation? I blunder on.

“Well, there’s Dad. You know how he feels about me and players. If the guys on the team find out, word will get back to him soon enough. And Rachel could be awkward. Might be best if we keep it quiet.”

“That’s going to be tricky in Cluanie. Unearthing everyone’s secrets is an organised sport.”

“You forget. Hiding people’s secrets is what I do for a living. When you take control of the narrative, tell the story for them, that’s all they see.”

His face has slipped behind a blank mask. I fear I’ve ruined it before we’ve even started with my calculating approach. I’ve said too much and not offered him enough. True Jenna style.

Then he smiles, although the crinkles that usually bracket his eyes are worryingly absent

“And what story are you going to tell about us?”

“I’ll think of something.”

“What if I said I didn’t care? That I’m not worried if people know?” The earnestness written in his steady gaze tugs at my heart.

I’m flooded with a vain surge of satisfaction that he’d be comfortable with people knowing we’re together. That he’d stand up for us against the likely objectors—Dad and Rachel—makes me want to sigh out loud with gratitude. It’s always been me defending other people’s choices, and here’s a guy who’s ready to step up and defend mine.

But I push the tempting offer aside as one I can’t accept, crushing those crazy euphoric feelings back down; because when it ends, as it inevitably must—there’s no way Geordie would stay in this for more than a bit of a fling—it’s just going to hurt even more.

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