Page 101 of Ink & Ambition

He puts his napkin on the table and leans back in his chair with a sigh. “You want me to cut out the only parental figure I have left?”

“Oliver is hardly a parental figure. To him, you’re just another dollar sign.”

Alex looks at me and I realize I’ve gone too far. This is his family. His life. I need to back off before he gets really upset. Reaching across the table, I grab his hand and relax a bit when he lets me hold him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that he doesn’t seem to give you the fatherly love you deserve. And you deserve so much.”

Alex kisses my hand. “I know.” He smiles sadly. “I know.”

With a sigh, I drop the heavy topic. This isn’t the last he’s going to hear from me about living out his dreams but for the rest of our getaway, I will keep my big mouth shut.

Seagulls caw as we walked up the boardwalk toward the restaurant. We’d spent the afternoon alternating between taking in the touristy sights and popping into little shops on the main street. When Alex suggested we have dinner in a restaurant he dined in with his family as a child, I jumped at the chance to gain another piece of him. I loved getting these pieces of his life–I hoped the puzzle would never be completed.

“Reservation under Prescott,” he said at the door, surprising me. I nudged him in the side as the host walked us to our table.

“A reservation, huh?”

Alex pulls out the chair for me to sit and then moves to the other side of the table. “You just never know with this place. My dad always makes a reservation everywhere we go, just in case.”

The waiter arrives and Alex takes the opportunity to order us a bottle of red wine to share and some appetizers.

“You know, you’ve talked a lot about your dad but are there any things that you like about him? Positive things you can say about him?”

Alex thinks for a long moment. “For my tenth birthday, he dropped Drew off at a friend’s house and he took me to the driving range. I remember I didn’t want to go at first because I didn’t think hitting golf balls would be a particularly exciting afternoon for a ten year old.”

“Fair,” I reply, chomping into a breadstick the waiter had left on the table.

“But, it ended up being one of the best afternoons I’d ever spent with him. We hit balls off the top deck and he taught methe difference between all the clubs. Then he said I was doing so well that one day he’d invite me to play with him and his buddies on the real green.”

Alex leans back in his chair with a sigh. “Still waiting for that invite.”

I place the half-eaten breadstick down on my plate. “It really kills me to see you so upset by him.”

Alex nods absent-mindedly for a moment and then seemingly snaps out of his trance. He reaches across the table and grabs a breadstick, devouring it in two bites. The waiter takes that opportunity to pour us a generous serving of wine and place our appetizers down on the table.

“Do you want to talk about your mom?”

I pause with the wine glass halfway to my mouth. “There’s nothing to talk about. She had Arden. She had me. She left. That’s all I know.”

Alex nods but doesn’t speak. He’s allowing me space to continue and I love him for that. “My dad is the sweetest man you’ll ever meet. He’s kind, funny, a true southern gentleman. From what I gathered, my mom was a selfish narcissist who wrung him out for all he was worth and hung him and us out to dry. Once his mama’s health started declining, he took extra shifts at the factory to help keep us all afloat.”

I finally take that much needed sip of my wine. I want Alex to know about me as much as I want to know about him. It’s just that these conversations are never easy to have.

“One day, my dad got hurt on the job. Some machine malfunction. Now he’s paralyzed from the waist down and needs just as much taking care of as my memaw, although he’ll never admit it. Anyway, Arden took over the work and it was agreed that since my grades were better and I got a full scholarship to TU, I’d go get my degree and then I’d get a fancy pants job in a big city and help them out at home.

“And I want to. So, so badly, I want to help the people who have been there for me no matter what. Who have always cared for me. I need to help them.”

“That’s a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders.”

I give a small smile. “No heavier than your burden. I guess we’re both destined to take over the family business, so to speak.”

I try to enjoy the mozzarella stick in front of me, but my appetite is suddenly gone. I haven’t been thinking about my family much lately. No, I’ve been too busy running around with Alex and partying with my friends. My eye has been so far from the prize, I’m surprised I can even see it anymore.

I need to finish this podcast. And I need to win thisNew York Timesinternship competition so I finally start helping my family instead of just being a hindrance to them.

Dropping the cheesy stick, I brush the bread crumbs from my hands. Time to get back to business.

“Alex, any interest in taking a short break from our very romantic vacation to look at our next podcast script?”

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