Page 115 of Ink & Ambition

“Oh. Yeah, I went to tell him that I’m ready to take the spot at Prescott Cars. Looking forward to it, even.”

The shock is apparent on my face. “You told him that?”

“Yes. No. But I will. I’m going to.” Alex turns to leave but I can’t stop myself.

“Why? Why are you giving up on your dream?”

He turns back to me, his eyes heavy with sadness. “What dream, Margot?” I try not to die inside when he calls me by my first name. He walks away and this time I let him. You would think it would be getting easier for me to let him walk away but as it turns out, it hurts more every time.

Leaving the building after him, I try to give us a wide berth so we don’t run into each other walking through campus. As I wipe an errant tear from my cheek, I swing the door open and run smack into a blonde girl, both of us tilting backward from the assault.

“I’m sorry, that was my fault.”

“No worries,” she says. She glances at me once, then double takes, staring at me much more intently. I’ve been getting looks like this for weeks, ever since the podcast started but there was something different about this one. Something more intense.

“Oh my gosh, wait. Are you Margot?” she asks, her eyes widening.

I nod politely in response, ready to continue my way through the doors but her next question stops me in my tracks.

“So you and Alex Prescott are really dating?”

My chest caves in. The tears I was holding in threaten to rush down my face. “I—”

“Yep.” Alex says from behind the girl. I hadn’t noticed him stop on the walkway until I heard his voice. He walks over and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me tightly but I know him, it’s not tight enough.

Clearly caught, the girl gives us a cute little smile before walking past me into the building. Alex immediately lets go of his hold on me and I feel the absence like a bullet to the heart.

When I face him, he has his hands stuffed in his front pockets. “Let them think what they want for the next few weeks. Once we get back from break, we can tell them the truth.”

I can only nod.

It’s a very nice gesture. One I’m not shocked he’s making.

Alex nods too then turns and walks away.

Yep. Harder and harder every time.

Chapter Forty-Four

Margot

Atsomepointoverthe next week, I write up my final entry for the internship competition and I send it, along with the link to the podcast episodes, over to theNew York Times. I also study for my finals, finish all the papers I was working on and write an article for the paper about students protesting on campus. Between all that, I make a very important phone call that will hopefully help at least someone be happy in the future. I do all of that without a heart in my chest because it had fallen out and rotted away on the floor of my apartment Saturday night.

Another week passes and I can feel a shell forming around myself, a protective cover guarding against outside forces that could hurt me. Because I can’t stand to be hurt again, I won’t survive it. Sydney leaves for winter break, giving me a kiss on the check and reassuring me that things would get better.

Danika drops her duffel bag on the couch in a huff.

“That’s all you’re bringing home?” I ask, wheeling my small carry-on suitcase into the living room.

“Are you kidding?” Dani walks back into her room for a moment and when she returns, I can barely see her over the size of the massive suitcase she’s pushing.

“I am not helping you put that giant in the overhead bin,” I huff.

Danika only scoffs. “You already know I’m checking this bad boy,” she says, giving the suitcase a couple pats for good measure. I would’ve laughed but the joy has drained out of me these past couple weeks. I haven’t had it in me to feel anything but hopelessness. “You ready to go?” She asks, pulling up her Uber app to call a cab to the airport.

I nod, grabbing my coat and my sneakers. When I bend down to put on my shoes, my phone falls onto the floor face up, a flurry of notifications on the screen. I’ve been avoiding looking at that thing since the last podcast episode went live, putting it mostly on do-not-disturb. I have absolutely no desire to read the comments about mine and Alex’s “relationship”.

Reaching down to grab it and silence the noise once again, a particular email notification catches my eye. An email [email protected] the subject: “Internship Competition”.

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