Page 116 of Ink & Ambition

Immediately I want to puke.

Here it is. My true failure. The one thing I set out to do this semester to all but guarantee my future as a journalist. A simple email that will say “sorry, but you suck.” I squeeze my eyes shut.I can’t do this right now.

“Mars?” Danika looks down at me and I hadn’t realized I’d sat right on the floor where my phone had fallen. She catches a glimpse of the email my finger is hovering over and gasps. “Oh my god.”

The contents of my stomach threaten to emerge but Danika is jumping up and down on top of me and I can’t catch my breath.

“Open it! Open it!” she’s shouting but I can’t make my finger do anything but float above the screen. “Margot, I swear to god—” The knowledge that she’s just going to snatch the phone and click it herself propels me forward and I use all the courage I have to open the email notification.

I don’t want to read it out loud. I can’t have Danika look at me like a failure. I can barely look myself in the mirror, I don’t need my best friend’s pity on top of all of this.

Fortunately, I don’t have to read too much to know the contents, the news is apparent from the very first line.

“I won,” I whisper.

Danika draws in a huge breath.

“I won!”

Danika screams at the very top of her lungs and I can’t help but join her. Before I know it, we’re jumping up and down on the couch, my excitement reaching beyond what I ever would’ve thought.

“You did it!” Danika shouts, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. We bounce down onto the cushions, catching our breath. “I mean, I always knew you would but you really fucking did!”

“I really fucking did,” I sigh, dreamily. And then it hits me. “Well…we did. Me and Alex.” The moment of joy has quickly turned into a moment of turmoil.

“Are you going to tell him that you won?”

“Should I?”

Danika hits me with her empathetic look. The look that says, “I wish I could tell you what to do but you need to decide for yourself.”

Nodding, I resign myself to thinking about that decision the whole way to the airport and even on the ride home. But for now, I need a few more blissful minutes of happiness. Because, I didn’t fail. I finally won.

Chapter Forty-Five

Alex

Asifenduringtheholiday break at the Prescott house isn’t bad enough, I don’t even have Margot with me to make everything better, the way only she is able to. I spend the first weekend at home spending as much time as I can with Drew, playing basketball, watching baseball and even playing whatever auto-themed game he’s into. It’s nice to have this time to spend with him, especially after knowing the effect our time shared has on him.

I guess I should’ve realized that Drew would look up to me. I certainly set a better example than our father at being a nice person. But I never really thought about how much he looks to me as a role model. And the entire time I’ve been home, I can’t help but feel like I’m letting him down.

A text from my father has me making my way to his office. He doesn’t often summon me unless it’s to talk business, of which I was never in the mood, least of all now.

I find Oliver behind his desk, clicking away at his computer, a phone to his ear. He looks up at me when I enter the doorway and puts up one finger, asking me to wait. I haven’t spent alot of time in this office, it never really sparked a lot of happy memories so there was no reason to want to come in here. As my dad talked to whoever about whatever, I took a chance to look around, notice my surroundings as an adult rather than a child.

His bookcases were full of old-looking books. Merely for decoration, I’d imagine. I’ve never seen that man read a day in my life. There were art pieces on the walls. A globe in the corner. All the things you’d picture in a successful businessman’s office.

The only thing missing was…him. There was nothing in this office that had any shred of humanity. It might as well have been scooped right out off the cover of Bloomberg Businessweek.

I sigh, content to wait outside, until something catches my eye. A picture. The same framed picture that Drew has on his desk. The picture of Mom smiling, holding onto Drew and me. Oliver has it displayed on a bookshelf but I notice it’s on a lower shelf, eye level if he’s sitting at his desk, which he always is.

My dad hangs up the phone. “Hello, Alexander.”

“You looking for me?”

“Yes.” Oliver stands, pushing in his chair. “Care to go for a drive?”

I narrow my eyes. “To where?”