Page 13 of Ink & Ambition

“Will you ever get out of your own way?”

I pull in a breath, thinking about how to respond but nothing is coming to mind. Dani sighs before continuing. “Margot, you need to win this contest. Talking to Alex is the way to do it. I’m not telling you to marry the guy! What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“He could say yes?” I say, first as a joke but then I realize how true it actually is. Hecouldsay yes and then I’d have to talk to him on a daily basis. I’d have to collaborate, maybe even…relinquish a bit of control to him. Just the thought alone causes me to swallow uncomfortably.

I feel Sydney rub my back and I close my eyes with a sigh while a thought pops in my head– one I’ve been trying to ignore all week.With Alex, you will win.

With new resolve, I open my eyes back up and head toward the door again, pushing aside my reservations and fears as vehemently as I pushed the door open.

“Go get him, babe!” I hear Dani cheer as the door closes behind me and suddenly I’m alone. Not physically, the yard is full of party-goers and by the smell of the smoke, I can tell they’re enjoying themselves. I’m alone in my mission for thisNew York Timescontest. I want this internship more than I want my next breath. Dani’s right: I need to stop being such a damn baby and just do something for myself for once.

With each step I take toward Alex’s statuesque form, I feel myself getting more and more confident. Although, I do wish I had taken at least one more shot of liquid courage. I feel like, at the very least, I’ll let him decline my offer and then I’ll move onto plan B–whatever that may be.

Stepping up directly behind his chair, I clear my throat rather loudly to get his attention. But he doesn’t move.Is he asleep?I walk around the chair to see his face, his eyes catching mine immediately and he jolts so incredibly I think he is going to fall out of the chair.

“Jesus Christ, sunshine. You can’t sneak up on a guy like that,” he says, leaning back into the lawn chair, pinching his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger to calm himself.

“I made a noise,” I shrug.

He looks up at me, dropping his hand onto the armrest. “Well, next time, use your words.”

I nod, slowly. “I’ll be sure to do that.” Alex’s gaze pierces mine but he doesn’t speak again. Instead, he takes his sweet time clocking my entire appearance from the tip of my head to the bottom of my heel. By the time his eyes reach back toward my face, I’m sure the expression on it causes him to snap back to reality.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asks, his voice slightly huskier than before, or am I just imagining that?

“I…actually,” I start, not quite sure how to get into this topic without completely stroking his ego. “I had something I wanted to ask you. A proposal, if you will…”

His eyebrows shoot up into his messy hairline, clearly shocked. He gestures to the chair next to his, a safe distance away. “By all means, the floor is yours, sunshine.”

I roll my eyes at the nickname he insists on calling me, even though he basically confirmed that he knows my name because of public speaking class. Which still begs the question, how did he know? Was he asking around about me?

Sitting in the chair, I curl my legs up so that I’m comfortable and turn to face Alex. He’s already looking at me, his eyes full of mischief and a hint of a smile ghosting his lips. He does have really nice lips, plump but not too—Focus!

“I want to work with you,” I blurt out but Alex only cocks his head, interested to hear more. “I’m not sure if you know this but I’m a journalism major. In fact, you definitely don’t know that, why would you? Anyway, there’s aNew York Timesinternship contest that opened up this year and I need to create a multimedia project that’s creative and unique and well, I had the idea to do a podcast, well my roommates had the idea, butwethought I could do a podcast and well, you and me could do a podcast together and it’d be really easy and you wouldn’t have to do work at all just show up at the designated times and we can make a schedule that’s totally flexible and I’m just going to shut up now and let you respond.”

I take a deep breath to refill my lungs after that completely jumbled speech.

For a moment, Alex is speechless. His mouth is closed, but I know it’s only because he’s schooling his features. He’s genuinely shocked at my request. I allow that feeling to sink in for a moment, the feeling of stunning the school stud into silence.

He opens his mouth, then closes it. Then opens it back up again. Just as I’m about to demand he speaks, he finally replies. “Of all the things I thought you would propose to me, that certainly wasn’t on the list. A threesome, maybe. But a working relationship?”

I scrunch my nose at his vulgar sense of humor. “In your dreams, frat boy.”

Alex laughs at my dig and leans back into his chair, as if to really give the proposal the proper thought. “A podcast, huh?” He asks, looking over at me but keeping his head leaned back against the top of the head rest.

I nod, a little too eagerly. I’m so anxious for his response that I can feel my palms begin to sweat and I rub them against the tops of my thighs to dry them.

“Well, it’s certainly an interesting idea,” he starts, sitting up again and leaning over the armrest so he’s closer, his breath, mint mixed with beer, brushing against my face. “It does beg the question, though: why would you want to do a podcast with me?”

I squeeze my eyes shut in defeat. I was really hoping he wouldn’t ask me that but of course he would. Now, how do I tell him that his party boy status will give me my best listenership without completely inflating his ego?

“I just think…with the connections you have with…certain people…it’ll make for very interesting podcast content,” I respond, keeping the comment as vague as possible, but Alex’s eyes darken as I finish my sentence.

“Ah. So this is about my father?” He says, apropos of nothing.

“Your father? No, I—”

“Because if you just need someone to bankroll your little project, sorry, you’re barking up the wrong money tree,” Alex pulls himself from the chair and starts to head back toward the house.What the fuck?

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