Page 72 of Ink & Ambition

Alex murmurs his agreement and I can feel his gaze on me.

Together we make our way toward the end of my block, which leads to a huge park. I don’t get much time to wander around here but I always want to. It gives some beautiful views of Northeastern foliage.

“You know, I used to come to this park with my mom and dad, and my baby brother,” Alex says as we stroll the tree lined path. “I don’t have many memories of it but I do have one in particular that’s coming to me right now.”

I stay silent, urging him to continue. Alex hasn’t opened up to me about his family at all. All I know is what he said during public speaking class. So I’ve been dying to hear more but I didn’t want to pry.

“One time, it was my birthday. I think my fourth,” he starts. “We were having a picnic and my mom packed all my favorite foods, which at the time was probably beef jerky and string cheese.”

“A very refined palette for a four-year-old,” I laugh.

Alex chuckles. “Totally.” He squeezes my hand a little tighter as we keep walking. “There was really nothing special about that day. But I swear, it’s the last vivid memory I have of all of us together. Happy.”

I want to console him. I want to do something but I have no idea what to do. Or what he needs. Alex can be so independent and the very last thing I want is for him to think I’m pitying him. I just have this ache in my heart for the little boy who deserved a perfect family and ended up with a mentally ill mother and abusive father. At least he has his brother.

“Tell me more about Drew.”

A ghost of a smile creeps onto his face. “Drew’s a good kid. He’s annoying as hell. Mouthy, rude, addicted to video games. But he’s also smart and innovative. He’s caring even though he pretends not to be.”

“Sounds like you raised him well,” I say looking up at him. Alex looks down at me and I can see the look of deep affection in his eyes.

“I tried my best.” I feel so lucky that he’s opening up to me. It’s making me want to do the same for him.

We walk a little further into the park until we come across a parking lot with picnic benches and six different food trucks. “Figured I’d let you choose the cuisine tonight,” Alex says, his voice already a little bit lighter than just moments ago.

“Tacos!” I shout, spotting the Mexican truck immediately. Alex laughs as I pull him toward the smell of cumin and chili pepper. He orders us six tacos–one of every kind on the menu–then finds us a table to sit and spread out our dinner. As we eat, Alex tells me more about growing up with Drew and I tell him a few stories about my older brother, Arden. We share a laugh over the time I convinced Arden to jump off the neighbor’s roof into their inground pool and he lost his bottoms as soon as he hit the water.

“Does your brother visit often?” He asks, taking the last bite of the tilapia taco.

“Not so much, I mostly just go home to see the family.”

Looking up, I meet his soft gaze. He takes my hand and kisses my palm before gathering up our garbage to throw away.

“We should probably head to the party now, huh,” I ask. Alex nods, grabbing my hand. We walk for a few minutes in silence until Alex speaks again.

“You haven't talked much about your own family,” he says as we start walking back toward the way we came.

“There’s not a whole lot to say. I live with my dad, my memaw and my older brother. My brother works at the factory where my dad used to work. He got injured on the job and now he’s home but I worry sometimes about Arden there.”

“That sounds stressful.”

I nod. “It can be. But he’s capable and strong. He’ll be okay.”

“I’m sure they’re so proud of you for coming out here and chasing your dreams.”

I can’t resist the sigh that escapes me. “I hope so.” Alex squeezes my hand in reassurance.

“What about your mom?”

I reply matter-of-factly. “My mom left us right after she had me so I don’t really know anything about her. All I know is that my parents were very young when they had Arden and still too young when they had me.” I haven’t thought much about my mom. My dad and Memaw did an amazing job raising Arden and I that I never once felt any emptiness that mother might fill. They made my childhood in South Carolina as amazing as I could’ve hoped for and I’ll always be grateful to them for that.

“And I’m not sad about that, so don’t worry about bringing it up,” I say reassuringly. Alex seems like he wants to ask follow up questions but I’m grateful that he doesn’t. Not that I wouldn’t mind talking about my mom, I just don’t think there’s anything more to say.

“I’d like to meet them, too. Your family,” Alex says.

Looking up at him, I see nothing but contentment in his eyes. I only nod, unable to voice how happy it would make me to bring him down to South Carolina, watch him at the dinner table across from my dad, playing games with my memaw on a Saturday morning. Yeah, I’d like that very much.

We walk again in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

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