Page 22 of London, Love, & A Little Something Irish

My cheeks warm at the phrase and it’s like a warm blanket is starting to settle over me.

Me: Thank you, that means a lot. I just need to stop getting anxious on stage.

Nathan: That’s actually really amazing. I didn’t realize you were that good. I really like the body language on stage too, your hand movements are good. It’s an all-round performance. I want to listen on repeat.

I’m warm cookie dough—soft, sweet, and melting into a puddle on the baking sheet. Something’s cooking inside me, and I don’t know what to do with it.

What isthisfeeling?

Before I can analyze it, Nathan sends another text.

Nathan: I’m getting up early tomorrow for work, so since it’s midnight I’m going to say goodnight now. I’m going to be grumpy tomorrow.

My fingers hover over the keyboardfor a second longer than necessary.

Me: Goodnight, grumpy Nathan.

And just for fun I add a little saluting emoji.

He replies with a laughing face and a simple:Goodnight.

I close my eyes, exhaling slowly.

Because something is shifting. The rug I keep trying to smooth over is getting more tangled by the second.

And maybe, just maybe, I’m not ready for what’s about to come next.

9

Nathan

I’m texting Nataly almost daily, now. Our conversations are always light and fun. Yet, she’s never afraid to go deeper. I’ve already sensed she wears her heart on her sleeve.

That’s something I really like about her. I grew up not fully letting everyone see in, holding my cards close. But Nataly? She opens up immediately and quickly. It opens up space for me to be open with her, too.

Yesterday, I texted her when I thought of her.

Me: The song you sang at the YA night just came on the radio and it made me think of you. I think you did a much better job.

Nataly: Ha! Thanks for the ego boost. But I could never top the original!

Me: Don't be so quick to say no. You were awesome.

Nataly: I get so anxious going on stage by myself, like I’m afraid to mess everything up. That night turned out great actually, I was so happy with it. But inside? I was freaking out.

Me: You’re a natural, Nat.

Me: Don’t doubt it. I was impressed.

Nataly: Thanks, Nathan. I really do appreciate your encouragement. I think it’s something I’ll have to work on. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away, but it’s always helpful to have encouragement—I’m definitely a words of affirmation girl.

Me: Oh yeah? That’s your top love language?

Nataly: Yeah, I 100% need a hero sandwich if anyone is going to critique me lol!

Me: What’s a hero sandwich?

Nataly: It's basically where you start off with the good, sandwich the bad (in a nice way), and then finish off with something good too!

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