Page 52 of London, Love, & A Little Something Irish

“I’ll catch you soon,” he says.

“Have fun!” I reply and pull out my wallet so I can tap my contactless card and go in.

I look back and he’s still staring at me.

Oh, I can’t wait for him to come home. Maybe, just maybe, this is the start of something new.

23

Nataly

It’s been 2 weeks. 2 weeks since I last saw Nathan and he left for Barcelona. Two weeks since I stood in that tube station and have had his touch lingering.

But the past two weeks have beengood—necessary. I went down to Bournemouth to visit my parents and Chantelle. It gave me time to breathe, to clear my head, to sit with all the feelings I didn’t know how to name.

As the train hummed beneath me, I stared out at the rolling fields and let my thoughts settle. There’s still guilt about the breakup with Joel. The way it ended. The way he’s still texting me, still trying to win me back. There was even a day, right before I left for Bournemouth, when I came home to find a giant box of flowers on my doorstep. A card tucked inside, asking if he could take me to dinner.

I had been mid-conversation with Nathan on the phone when I found them. I think I almost heard a growl on the other end.Joel never did this kind of thing before. Not during our relationship. Not really. So why now?

Why pursue me now, when I’ve already stepped away?

Joel and I were never right for each other. I was caught up in making it work. Why? Well, that’s a valid question. From the outside, it would be so easy to see and say, “you’re wrong for each other,” but reality and our thoughts don’t quite follow a linear pattern all the time. It was like trying to force two puzzle pieces together from entirely different sets and saying,“See? Close enough.”It wasn’t close enough. Not for me. Not for the kind of love I know God has for me.

And Joel’s not the villain. I just want him to find someone he genuinely can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with.

And I know, deep down, that’s not me.

But Nathan has been clogging up all my headspace. He’s beenpursuingme. Like I’m the only girl out there. Not playing games. Not leaving me wondering. Not treating me like an afterthought.

Just showing up.

I remember seeing a quote on Tumblr once: “Men, by nature, are hunters. If he wants you to be his, he’ll make it known.”

And that’s the thing about Nathan. He isn’t hunting me. He’schoosingme.

Over and over again.

I asked him point blank if he liked me, and he said, “Yes.” Never have I had a man be so upfront with me.

I took the train ride to think through all of this. As I pulled up to Bournemouth and got out of the train, I saw Chantelle. She was picking me up from the station, and I barely waited for the car to stop before launching myself into her arms. We really don’t see each other enough but we always just pick up right where we left off. Some friends are just like that. You just click. Then you’re friends for life.

“Oh, sweet friend, it is SO good to see you!” I squealed, squeezing her tight.

She pulled back, mock-serious. “Well, I’ve been compiling alistof dad jokes while you were gone, so prepare yourself.”

I threw my head back and laughed. I love her humor. “I’m ready. Hit me with your best one.”

She cleared her throat dramatically. “Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?”

I tilted my head. “No?”

“All that was left wasde-brie.”

I wheezed. “I love that so much!”

We slid into her car, still laughing, and she took me to a pub near my parents’ place—somewhere warm, dimly lit, and buzzing with conversation. The beige brick inside makes it feel so cozy. Really, it smells like old wood and fresh bread.

We ordered dessert as that’s what we really came for, and as soon as we sat down, she narrowed her eyes at me.

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