Page 1 of Leland

Chapter One

Rouge

I felt my coffee mug leave my fingers. I saw it fly through the air, heard it when it shattered and hit the floor, and smelled the remaining bit of coffee that had been inside as it pooled on the tile, but I didn’t fully register what I had done until I saw Kay’s reaction. Her eyes were dark with anger and her hands were clenched into fists at her side. Straightening her back, she tucked her loose hair behind her ears, allowing me to see just how pink her face was. She was livid.

“I-I’m so sorry,” I said sincerely. She was one of my favorite coworkers and a joy to work with. How could I do something so terrible to someone so kind?

Kay was looking at me like I was a monster and she was a monster hunter. Hell, I had just thrown something at her.Iwasa monster.

“Rouge, my office, now,” Leland, my boss and the owner of Daddies Ink, the tattoo shop where I worked, demanded. His tone was heavy and unyielding. I knew he was upset with meand that bothered me almost as bad as my actions had. Irritation filled me.

Why can’t I just control my anger?

I picked up my bag and followed him into his office. Kay’s soft sob caught my ear, just before Leland shut his door behind me. Great, I threw something at herandmade her cry.

My heart pounded in my chest and I tried to swallow down my emotions. This was my own fault. I was going to lose a job I loved because I’d lost my temper. I could tattoo in any shop, but everyone knew Daddies Ink was the best in Strickland.

This wasn’t the first time my anger had caused an issue. I carried it around like a security blanket. I hated it, but it kept me safe. It kept me from hoping for too much or dreaming too big. Sometimes it reminded me that people sucked and I shouldn’t rely on them and other times, it reminded me I sucked and people shouldn’t rely on me. It also drained me, gave me nightmares, and made it almost impossible to have healthy relationships.

“You can’t keep going like this, sugar.”

Leland unintentionally caused me to feel so self-conscious. I bet his temper never got the best of him. He was so put together, not to mention, sinfully handsome with his sharp jawline and herculean body. Inquisitive deep blue eyes swept over me and I hated how easy it was for him to read me.

“This isn’t healthy, baby.”

I also hated how my stomach flipped at his term of endearment. Just as quickly as that emotion passed, anger followed. A man like Leland would never want a woman like me. I was too much of a problem, too much to handle. Used. Dirty.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” he said, coming around and sitting on his desk in front of me. “You’re a good girl, Rouge. We’ve just got to figure out how to help you control that inferno inside of you.” Itwas my problem, but clearly he was done letting me try to deal with it alone. Even if I wished he would.

“Aren’t you tired of carrying all this baggage around?” He waited a minute before scolding me, “Answer me, sugar.”

“Yes.” I tried not to wiggle under his sharp gaze.

“Then let me help you put it down.”

“I’m in counseling,” I blurted out. Mainly because I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t trying at all. I had sought outside help.

“I figured, but if I’m guessing correctly, you’re probably not telling your therapist the whole truth, are you?”

I wasn’t. I couldn’t tell her everything. It was too bad. Clenching my right hand into a fist, I allowed my nails to dig into the flesh while I struggled to come up with an answer.

“Stop.” His firm, one-word command shocked me. I hadn't realize he could see what I'd done. His face was pinched and his forehead wrinkled, but his eyes were still gentle and concerned just like I was used to seeing. He didn’t look mad, even though his tone had been so firm.

Extending his arm forward, he waited for me to place my hand in his. I did and he rubbed his thumb over the half-moons I’d left in my skin.

“Aww, baby.”

I closed my eyes against the belittling feelings that taunted me. I was such a fuck-up.

“Look at me, Rouge.” Leland’s firm order broke my thoughts.

I opened my eyes and obeyed him.

“Good job, Little one.”

Jerking back, I scrambled to get out of the chair and away from him. Rage filled me as quickly as disappointment did.

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