Page 14 of Leland

Once she’d scrambled off to get our order, I turned my attention back to Rouge. “H-how did you know?”

“Know what, baby?”

“That I wasn’t angry. I was scared.”

“When I first wanted to help you, I did a lot of research and I came across a forum where someone else was struggling with asimilar issue. She shared her past and current therapy sessions. Her therapist felt like because of her PTSD and the constant years she lived in survival mode, anytime she was feeling an emotion, her body responded in anger. She talked about how she would randomly have these outbursts of temper much like you do. With your past, it wasn’t hard to put it all together.”

“I-I didn’t know. I didn’t believe you earlier when you said that’s what was happening to me.”

“Do you believe me now?”

“Yes.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I was embarrassed that I’d never had a donut before and then I was sad, but before I could even process it, I was yelling at you. I’m so sorry.”

“I know, Rouge, and I forgive you. We’re going to get through this together.”

She nodded and took another shaky breath.

“Do you know why you were sad?”

She played with the hem of her dress as she thought it over. “Because what kind of person has never had a donut?”

I reached down and grabbed the seat of her chair, turning her to face me. “There’s two things I want you to realize, Little one. One, you never have to be embarrassed with me. Life is weird and messy. There’s something everyone has never done for some reason or another. Your reason is very valid, baby. You were raised in a horrible situation where you were never given an opportunity to have a donut. That’s something that was out of your control. Two, you shouldn't feel any shame because you’ve never had a donut. You know who should be ashamed? Your parents and the cult, for so many reasons. The deprivation of donuts is just one.”

She nodded and then surprised the shit out of me by hugging me. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked us side to side.

Only when our order was brought out did she let me go.

“Now,” I said, sliding the tray of donuts around to her. “Let’s find your favorite.”

***

“This one,” Rouge said, picking the rest of the pink-sprinkled donut up. She’d sampled a bite of every donut and was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I’d been fighting back my emotions since she’d taken the first bite. Watching her experience something as simple as tasting a donut made me question how many other things I’d taken for granted.

“That is a great choice.”

“What’s your favorite?” she asked, taking a much too big bite.

“Chew that carefully, sugar.” I had to watch how I corrected her. I realized she was much more sensitive than I had originally thought.

Once I was satisfied with her mouthful, I grabbed the bakery’s version of a cookies-and- cream donut. “This one is my favorite.”

“Oh.” She nodded. “I think that was maybe my… fourth favorite.”

Her word choice along with her carefree attitude brought a smile to my face.

“So your first favorite was the strawberry sprinkle, what was your second favorite?”

“The cotton candy one with the blue frosting.”

“Oh, yes. It is good. It was customers’ choice for July.”

She laughed. “Youreallydo love this place, don’t you?”

“One time I dreamed I turned Daddies Ink into a donut shop. What’s your third favorite?”

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