Page 26 of Leland

I started washing her bruised body just to have something to do with my hands. Suddenly I had so much energy.

“So, am I like your g-girlfriend now?”

“Oh, Little one, you’re so much more than my girlfriend, now.” I dropped the cloth and stroked her cheek gently. “You’re my everything.”

“It will still be hard. I’m still angry a lot.”

“We’re going to keep working through it, baby.”

“I haven’t been as angry, though. It’s weird. Normally, I’m angry all the time, but the last couple of days I’ve only been angry a few times.” Her nose scrunched as she reflected.

“Because you stopped believing some terrible lies about yourself and that helped your inner-critic settle.”

“I did believe some lies,” she admitted. “Like that I was a w-whore and that I wasn’t w-worthy of love…. Or of being a Little.”

“Do you still believe those things? Because those lies make Daddy so sad. I bet they were hard to carry around, huh?”

“Yes,” she agreed. “But Sunday when I was angry about never having a donut, you said something that I keep thinking about and it’s really helped.”

“What did I say?”

“That it wasn’t my fault I’d never had a donut. That it was the adults in my life that had wronged me and I realized everything I was mad at myself about, was out of my control. I wasn’t a cheap whore, that’s just what D-David said to me, maybe to make himself feel better for all the times he raped me. I’m not worthless. My parents abandoned me, but that doesn’t make me a bad person, it makes them bad people. And I am worthy of being a Little. Just because the other Little girls I know don’t seem to have the baggage I have, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it. It just means I was dealt a different hand in life.”

“Sugar, if you weren’t so sore, I’d snatch you out of this tub and kiss you silly. I’m so fucking proud of you right now.”

“Well,” she said, playing with the bubbles in the water and blushing beautifully, “Maybe you can’t get me out of the bath, but maybe you can still kiss me silly?”

Chapter Nine

Rouge

My heart pounded in my chest when Leland cupped my chin with a soapy hand and tipped it up.

“I would like that very much, sugar.” He lowered his mouth to mine and pressed his lips against my own. His beard tickled my skin and heat rushed to my face. His tongue traced my lips and I jerked back.

I grabbed the sides of the tub and squeezed. “Wait. I just… hold on.”

He raised his hands slowly. “It’s okay, baby. Take a deep breath for me.”

I did as he commanded.

“Good girl, nice and slow.”

It took a bit before I calmed. “I’m sorry.”

He rubbed my leg through the cooling water. “No, baby, I’m sorry. I should have asked how much kissing you were okay with.”

“I liked it, I just got a little angry.” I shook my head. “No, not angry. Nervous.”

“I’m so proud of you for recognizing that it wasn’t anger and for asking for a moment. You did so well.”

“Could.. Could we try again?”

“Try kissing again?”

“Yes, that was my first one with someone I w-wanted to be with.”

“Sugar, I’m so sorry you had such a hard beginning, but I promise every day from here on out will be better than the last.” He cupped my chin again and I leaned in. His mouth pressed against mine and this time I was the one who initiated the deeper kiss. He let me lead and freely explore his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and I decided it was my new favorite flavor. Only once I started to shiver did he break away.

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