Page 30 of Leland

“You look all better!” Emily exclaimed, setting a present on the table. I felt much better too. A week had passed since I’d been attacked and aside from an occasional twinge of pain in my ribs, I didn’t have any serious aftereffects.

“What’s this?” I asked, wanting so badly to touch the pretty, glittery gift bag.

“It’s for your Little. To welcome her to… um, the family?” she said, tapping her chin.“The friend group? Um, I don’t know. Just to welcome her.”

I giggled at her excitement. Emily had always been the joyful one.

“What do you say, sugar?” Leland reminded.

“Oh! Thank you!”

“Open it, silly!” she exclaimed, pushing it closer to me.

Guilt filled my tummy. “I need to tell you something first.”

“Okay,” she said, reaching across the table and holding my hand. “You can tell me anything.”

Leland patted my hip reassuringly.

“I was angry with you for a really long time. I-I have been working on my anger and my past with Daddy and my therapist, but I want to tell you about it. I love you so much and I don’t want you to be angry with me for telling you, but I need to get it off my chest.”

Emily nodded. “Okay, Rouge.” She didn’t sound very sure, though.

Hell, I wasn’t very sure.

“I feel like you always looked to me to know what to do. When we ran away, when Mom and Dad left, when you were going to have to marry Malichi. I was always there for you and sometimes I feel like I still need to be that strong person for you even though I’m the one still hurting. You have Onyx and a good life now. You’re safe and you have a great job, but you still call me to ask me what to do any time you have a problem and I can’t carry that weight right now. You have healed from most of the trauma and now I need to. That’s why I was angry when you were crying last week. It wasn’t kind of me and I’m sorry I snapped at you. I was really resentful and it just leaked out.”

“Oh, Rouge. I am so sorry. I never meant to make you feel overwhelmed or that I only called when I needed your advice. You’re… You’re just the only mom I ever had. We’re the same age, but you were always so brave. Fear never fazed you, or at least it seemed like it didn’t and I just got so used to you knowing what was best for us, that I still rely on it, but you’re right and I’m sorry. You can count on me now. I’ll shoulder the weight while you heal. Thank you for telling me what you were going through and how you’re feeling.”

I already felt so much lighter. “I’m like a mom to you?”

“Yeah, it’s silly because we're twins, but you raised me, Rouge. You were the one who knew what to do when I had a nightmare, or when my stomach hurt, or when we didn’t have enough money to eat for the week.”

“Pancakes.”

“Fucking pancakes,” she agreed. “I’m so grateful for you, Rouge. I wouldn’t have survived without you, but it’s your turn to be taken care of now.”

I squeezed her hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Onyx cleared his throat after a few moments of silence. “Emily felt like you needed some reassurance when we left you last week, so we did some digging and I think we have some happy news for you.”

Emily nodded. “I was so scared when Malachi came for me. I spent so much time looking over my shoulder waiting for him to find me and when he did, I didn’t think I’d ever be safe again. When you got attacked, I worried maybe if you felt the same.”

I nodded. “I thought it was David.” Tears rolled down my face with the admission.

“I wanted to be able to give you some peace, so Daddy helped me look online and we found this,” she said, reaching into her dress pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper.

My hands trembled as I took it from her. I unfolded it slowly.

David Lee, 74, of Pulaski, Tennessee passed away at his home in Jackson, Georgia on September twenty-third. David was a member of N…

I dropped the piece of paper and buried my head in my hands, sobbing. He was dead. He’d died last year and he could never hurt me again. It really was over.

***

Leland

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