Page 23 of Hearing Little Hadley

Finn rocked them both back and forth as he patted her bottom. “You’re such a cuddly baby this morning.” He carried her into the living area and sat down on the couch with her.

“The food will stay warm for a bit, you cuddle as long as you need.”

Hadley sucked hard in her pacifier while she basked in his attention.

She needed to change her diaper, but she could do it after breakfast.

Finally, when she was satisfied, she pulled back and played with Finn’s beard. He laughed and kissed her fingers.

Heat filled her tummy. That was a new feeling.

Finn stood with her and carried her to the highchair before setting her down and buckling her in.

“Did you need to go potty, Peeps? I’m sorry. I forgot to ask.”

She nodded.

He unbuckled her and set her on her feet. “I’ll get everything ready for us.”

She nodded and rushed to the nursery.

She grabbed the Christmas-themed diapers and quickly changed into one of them. It was a little tricky because they had tabs, unlike her others. After washing her hands at rapid speed, she dried them and raced back into the kitchen.

Finn lifted her into the chair again.

“This morning for breakfast, we have Christmas tree pancakes, reindeer waffles, bacon, eggs, and peppermint chocolate milk.”

She squealed and immediately slapped her hands over her mouth.

“No, Peeps,” Finn corrected, taking her hands away from her mouth. “I love to hear you. It doesn’t matter if it’s your voice or your excited noises. I love it all, okay?”

Hadley felt her eyes widen at Finn’s words. He didn’t really invade her silent space. She knew he didn’t like it, but he never corrected her for it. His words had been so kind.

“It breaks my heart that those who love you don’t get to experience you because someone else decided you were too loud… or different… or whatever the fuck it was that your parents said to you.”

Hadley just stared at him. She didn’t know how to answer.

Finn sighed and sat down on a stool. “This isn’t how I wanted our talk to go this morning, Peeps. I wanted us to have a fun breakfast,” he said, rubbing his forehead.

Nervous, Hadley pulled her pacifier up from where it was attached to a strip of fabric and put it in her mouth.

Reaching out, Finn took her hand. “You mean a lot to me, sweet girl. A lot more than I’ve let on. When I wake you in the morning, you’re the first person I see. When I go to bed, it’s with a smile on my face because you’re the last person I see before I close my eyes. I love you, Peeps. So damn much and I’ve kept it a secret for a long time because I wanted to do what was best for you. I thought that if I expressed my feelings, I could hurt you. I was worried I’d take away the only person you had left, but Derek made me realize that in keeping my feelings to myself, I was still hurting you by denying you the Daddy you deserved. I’m so sorry,” he said.

Hadley’s mouth opened in shock, so wide that her pacifier fell out.

“I know that’s a lot of information, babygirl, and not at all how I planned on telling you, but every word is true. I love you, Hadley.”

“I love you too, Finn,” she said using her voice.

This time Finn looked shocked. “You do?”

She giggled and cleared her throat. “Yeah. I didn’t really realize it until yesterday morning when I was in the Caterpillars Room, but one of the other Littles asked me if you were my Daddy and when I told them you weren’t, I was so sad. Then I realized how badly I did want you to be my Daddy,” she said, shrugging. “You do almost all the Daddy things now. You take care of me, keep me safe, and you make sure my heart is always happy. I don’t know why it took me so long to put it together. I don’t want just any Daddy, I want you.”

Lifting his hand, Finn trailed her throat with his fingers. “I love when you talk. It breaks my heart that you’re too scared to.”

“I don’t think I’m too scared with you. With others, yes. It’s just so hard. There’s always small talk or body language to read.I’m so scared I’ll mess up. I’m still scared I’ll mess up with you, but I know you would gently correct me and that makes it not so scary.”

“I will always guide you, Peeps. And if you want to be a nonverbal Little becauseyouwant to be, I won’t stop you. I’ll respect that, but only if it’s what you want inside your heart.”

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