Page 6 of A Little More Love

His face turned red and he brought his hand up to play with his ear, something he did when he was embarrassed. “No, I’m just saying,” he tried to say, but I cut him off.

“You were just saying how you should have been tough and pushed through instead of relying on the people who love you to help you through. You are feeling guilty because you think you’re being weak,” I filled in.

“Well, I am being weak.”

“You didn’t have to go home, Tyler. You absolutely could have declined to help and nobody would fault you, but because of your bravery, you’re doing something so fucking hard. Most people wish they could be as brave as you right now.”

“Well, when you say it like that…”

“Am I wrong?”

“No,” he said.

“That shit ends here. You are a fucking war vet. You fought and almost died for this country and now you’re going back to support another war vet even though it makes you face some hard things. You asked for help because you needed it and that’s one of the hardest things anyone can do. You’re a fucking badass, do you understand me?”

He nodded.

“Words, Tyler, I want fucking words,” I demanded, swallowing down the urge to rip this car off the road and wear his ass out on the side of the highway. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt the urge, but my hand was much more itchy to swat him than normal.

“Yes, yes. I understand,” he quickly assured me.

“Good. Because you’re the bravest man I know and I won’t let you think differently.”

***

Tyler

I submitted to Elliot occasionally, mostly in the bedroom, but him threatening to spank me was new and not in my predicted forecast for our relationship.

But his threat, as crazy as it sounded, did something to ease the terror bubbling inside me. It made me feel safe, secure, like I could take on anything and that was something I hadn’t expected.

“I love you,” I told Elliot instead of what I was really thinking.

“I love you too, baby.”

“Do you think that we could maybe reschedule dinner with Tifton and order room service?” Tifton was my stepbrother, the only good thing that came from my family life and although I was thrilled to see him, I just wanted the comfort only Elliot and Tinsley could bring.

“I think that’s a great idea. I’ll call him later and tell him, okay?”

“You’ll call him?” I asked, sighing in relief. He wouldn’t be upset, but I already felt so stretched thin that rescheduling just seemed like a huge task.

“I will. I think you’ve got a little bit too much on your mind, so I’ll help you carry some of the weight, okay?”

“Thank you, Elliot. T-That’s really helpful.”

“You’re not on your own anymore, baby. Let us help you,” he said, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing each one of my fingers. “I know I can’t take away the hard feelings, but I can at least do that for you.”

***

“Do you want another bite of soup, Teenie?”

“Nu, Papa.”

“Are you all done?” I asked, smiling when she used American Sign Language to signall doneback to me.

“You’re doing so well with your ASL words. You know so many now,” I praised.

“We don’t signfuck,” she said, giving a hard nod. “Is naughty.”

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