Page 51 of Lost Lyrics

Let’s rock this life together. You’re the best thing I’ve ever found

I closed the book, rested my head back against the sofa, and hugged my guitar across my chest. Phil had been right. The guys and I had faced every up and down together, we’d taken on the world, and we rocked this life together. We’d all grown, changed, and survived because we had each other.

Fuck. . . I missed them.

I texted them in our group chat.

Me:You read your notebook of lyrics from Phil?

Just started mine.

So many memories. Good and bad.

No one replied.What?It was still weird not knowing where each of them was and what they were doing every day. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. We no longer lived in each other’s pockets. But the growing pull toward them had me on a new edge. One I had to be certain I was ready to face.

The elevator bell dinged. There was a rattle of keys. The front door opened. In walked Maddy. My chest swelled, and my heartbeat did a quick step and a skip just like it did every time she walked into the room. Her smile, full of sunshine, made my day. But today, it wasn’t as bright as normal. Tiredness clouded her eyes.

“Hey, hon.” She dumped her purse on the console table. Ambling toward me, she dragged her feet like they weighed a ton, then sank onto the sofa beside me.

I put my guitar down, hooked my arm around her shoulders, and drew her against my side. I kissed her troubled brow. “Rough day?”

“Long one.” She sighed and snuggled into me. Yep, I knew what twelve-hour-plus days felt like. “Hilary is still in a badmood. She has been for weeks. She’s ordering retake after retake when we’ve executed scenes perfectly. The writers argue constantly over dialogue cuts, changes, and storyline directions. The girls are distant and seem extra bitchy. I am constantly frustrated. And Mills, who I used to get on so well with, has turned into an asshole. He’s always making rude jokes and smartass comments at me for taking time off, for not handling the gossip that surrounded us when we first got married, and for being Hilary’s pet. He’s trying to be funny, but he’s not.”

“Well, fuck him.” Six months off work had done wonders for our marriage and Maddy’s health. She was no longer bone thin. She ate well. We were solid. But clearly not everyone felt the same way. “Is that what’s been bothering you? I’d love you to break up with your on-screen boyfriend.” I threw her a lopsided, hopeful smirk. “Mills can fuck off the show. I’d be very happy with that.”

I’d have a word with him the next time we saw each other. No one messed with Maddy. What had happened to him being Maddy’s friend outside the show? Maddy loved her castmates and crew, but yeah...something had been off since she’d returned to the studio.

Maddy rested her cheek against my shoulder. “Mills has become arrogant. But it’s not just him. I’ve tried to ignore the show’s changes, and the different vibe on set, and not let anything get to me. But it has. It’s not the same anymore. The dynamic has shifted...died. The fun we used to have as a group has disappeared. Is it me? Or them? Or was I blindsided about how good it was?”

“Mads...you’ve been through a lot.” I rubbed her arm, still overwhelmed sometimes by what we’d endured. “The rough start to our marriage, your health concerns, my stint in rehab, and losing your mom have been a lot to handle. Don’tbe so hard on yourself. Maybe you need more time off.”

“No. I was ready to go back. It’s just hard when it’s not the same.”

“Been there. Done that.” I’d had similar concerns with my band during our last tour. Being on the road wasn’t the same without Phil, but Lewis had fit in perfectly. He’d become one of us. And now...after time apart, new anxiety had crept into my mind. I was scared the guys and I wouldn’t reconnect in the same way when we got back together. Maddy was clearly going through those motions at work. “Mads, if everything has changed on the show, if people aren’t respecting you, or they’re causing havoc, you don’t have to put up with that.”

“I know. I won’t.” She curled toward me and draped her arm across my waist. I buried my nose into her hair and breathed her in.Mmmm.Mio bel girasole. “This show has been a part of me for so long. I love living here. I love my castmates and crew...well, I did. But it’s like a different world now.”

I played with her long hair and rested my cheek against the top of her head. “Maybe it’s not just the world. Maybe it’s us. We’ve both changed. The best part is we now have each other.”

“Yeah. We do. I love you.” She kissed the small of my neck, then pointed to Phil’s notebook lying open on the chaise. “You writing again?”

“No. That’s Phil’s. It’s the first time I’ve opened it since Tia gave it to me.” I took a deep breath as his words filtered through my head. “It’s been hard to read some of the lyrics. He loved Tia so much, but he was too much of a mess to be serious. Too wild and out for fun. Maybe being too young played its part as well. The drugs, booze, and women certainly did.” I waved a finger toward the book. “But some songs have chords penned in them. I was tinkering with a couple tunes.”

“Can you play something for me?” She eased forward out of my hold. “I’ll grab a drink. You want anotherone?”

“Sure.”

As Maddy glided over to the kitchen, I picked up my guitar and strummed the strings. The sad, soulful tune I’d been playing filled my head. The notes tweaked and shuffled through my mind. I altered several chords. Reworked the bridge. Yeah...the melody flowed so much better this way.

“Wow.” Maddy returned and slid onto the sofa beside me. “I love that.”

“It’s good, isn’t it? Sad but good.” I plucked at the strings, worked my fingers over the frets. “I’ve tweaked Phil’s chords here and there.”

“You’re so talented.”

“Me? Nah.” I churned out a wicked lick. “I just pick up a guitar and fuck around.”

“Don’t do that.” Maddy slapped my thigh. “You’re gifted. Own it.”

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