Page 47 of Love You Like That

Silence.

He leaned back on the couch and rubbed his eyes before looking at me again. “I know you think I don’t give a fuck, but I do, Yaya,” he said. “I’m drownin’ in guilt every fuckin' day tryna be enough in both places. Honestly, I’m scared to slow down and lose everything I done built… but I’m also scared to lose y’all.”

I blinked, surprised at the honesty. “You won’t lose us,” I said, softer this time. “But I can’t give birth in an environment that feels like I’m begging you to show up. That’s not fair to me or him.”

He nodded, slowly. “Aight,” he said. “So what do we do?”

“We set a plan,” I replied. “Real dates. Real boundaries. I need you to be present in more than promises.”

“I’ll stay,” he said suddenly. “I’ll cancel next week and stay here until the baby comes.”

I watched him closely. “You sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah. We need this. I’ll make it work.”

I exhaled, the tension in my chest loosening just a little. “Then stay.”

We stared again. This time softer. “I love you,” he said, voice cracking. “Even when I’m fuckin’ up. I love you.”

“I know,” I said. “I love you too.”

He stood up slowly and crossed the room. He knelt in front of me and pressed his lips to my belly. “I’m here now,” he whispered.

I rested my hand on his head and closed my eyes. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t romantic. But it was real and in this moment, that was enough.

T h en e x tf e wdays felt like falling in love again. Ezra really did stay. Not just in my apartment but with me. Fully present. He called my OB’s office to book an appointment just for an ultrasound to see our son. He was there with one hand resting gently on my thigh like he couldn’t help needing contact.

“He’s growing fast,” the nurse had said, guiding the wand over my stomach. The heartbeat filled the room and Ezra squeezed my hand, eyes glassy again like they always got when he heard him.

“I still don’t know how somethin’ that tiny but strong is inside you,” he whispered on the way out, his palm wide and warm across my belly.

“You’re the one who helped put him there, genius,” I teased.

He grinned. “Yeah… and now I’m stayin’ here to make sure I earn the right to keep y’all.”

That night, we cooked dinner together. Well, I cooked, and Ezra mostly danced behind me, shirtless in sweatpants, moving to Lauryn Hill and D’Angelo’sNothing Even Matterson my Bluetooth speaker while I whipped up steak, garlic and herb rice, and asparagus. I laughed so hard my damn cheeks hurt.

Later, we ate while curled up on the couch, the baby pressing against both our hands when he kissed my shoulder and whispered, “He really be in there wildin’, huh?”

The sex came like a rhythm after he massaged my feet and kissed the arch of my ankle like he was apologizing with every breath. He’d undressed me slowly, carefully, as if relearning my body was sacred. And then he made love to me from the side with slow, deep strokes. Both of us breathing hard and whispering things we were too afraid to say with the lights on. We fell asleep sweaty and tangled, his heartbeat still thumping between us.

On the third day, we went for a walk through the park where we had our first date. It was chilly out but Ezra kept his arm around me. We talked about baby names and whether we’d move into something bigger after the baby was born.

“Eventually,” I said. “But I’m not in a rush. I just want peace.”

He kissed my temple. “Then that’s what we’ll build, baby.”

It felt like the beginning again like the softness we lost had returned in pieces with one forehead kiss, one oiled belly massage, and one shared bowl of ice cream at a time. And I letmyself believe that maybe, just maybe, this was it. That is until my parents showed up.

It was late afternoon and I’d just gotten out of the shower. Ezra was in the living room trying to assemble the bassinet he’d just purchased when the knock came. I called out from my bedroom, “Babe, can you get that?”

I quickly threw on a pair of leggings and a tank top before slipping into furry slides. I was halfway down the hall when I heard the one voice I hadn’t expected to hear.

“Well, isn't this a surprise?” my mother said, eyes moving from Ezra to the hallway behind him. To me. She walked in further with my father following behind, lips pressed tight, eyes already reading too much.

“Hi, Mom,” I said, forcing a breath. “Daddy.”

“Wanted to check on the you and our grandson,” she replied, “but I see he’s not the only one getting all the attention.”

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