Page 19 of Jaded Red

Matt rests his forehead against mine and I don’t freak out from his touch. “What’s your stipulations?”

“Don’t ever make me feel I’m not good enough or worth it.”

“Deal, because you are worth it. If anything, I’m not good enough for you, but I don’t give a shit. You are mine.”

“And you are mine.” I lean in and kiss Matt with everything I have. All the feelings that have been building for him since that first night I saw him in the bar, to all the pain and suffering I went through while kidnapped. How he was the one to rescue me in my dreams while being held captive. To watching my belly grow each day, hoping to keep this baby healthy, even when my health was diminishing. I break the kiss and we’re both breathing hard.

“Since it’s confession time, there is something I have to tell you, Matt.” I pull away from him and rest my hands on my belly. It’s not much of a bump but it’s enough. He leans forward, confusion etched on his brow. “I haven’t told anyone about this, except for Doc Emma because I wanted you to know first.”

Matt looks at my hands splayed protectively across my belly, to my face, back to my stomach, back to my face. “Wait. What are you saying?” His face turns a dark shade of red from embarrassment. “Are you saying the first time I slept with a woman and now you… You’re… you… Are you pregnant?” He pauses for a moment “With my kid?” Shock is written all over his face.

Wait, the first time he slept with someone was me? How can that be? He has got to be lying to me. There’s no way he was a virgin when we met.

I nod my head, shaking off my thoughts. “I’m three, maybe close to four months. I didn’t know until a couple of weeks after I was taken. Only Exleigh and Syvannah knew while we were there and they did everything they could to protect the two of us.” A lonely tear slips down my face thinking about what they went through and I can’t look at Matt right now. “They took the abuse, the rapes and the molestation so those men wouldn’t harm me or this baby. I tried to fight them off every time they came at any of the girls, but I wasn’t strong enough and the things they’d make me watch…” I trail off and a shudder runs down my spine. Tears spill from my eyes when look up at Matt.

His face is passive, but he does pull me into his arms and lets me cry on his chest. His voice is soothing, comforting and peaceful. “It’s going to be all right, Nadia.” He runs a hand over my braids.

“What’s going through your mind now?” I ask, even though I’m afraid of the answer.

Matt lets out a small laugh, half pained, half humor. “I don’t know. I’m ecstatic, I’m freaking the fuck out and I’m pissed.”

“At me?” I tense from his words. He’s taking this news pretty well. Either that or he’s really good at hiding a freak-out session.

“No, Pulchra, never at you.” He kisses the top of my head and I relax against him. “I do however need to update Nolan and my brothers. Will you be ok for a while?”

“Yes, I think I’m going to sleep some more. But, Matt, will you please not tell them about the baby until Doc does her ultrasound? I don’t want…” Matt cuts me off by placing a kiss on my lips.

“This is our secret until you say otherwise.”

“Thank you.” I lay back down and watch Matt watching me.

“Don’t thank me, Pulchra. Get some rest and I’ll be back in a little while.”

Matt quietly closes and locks the door and I drift back off to sleep. This time nightmares don’t fill my head but I dream about a beautiful baby girl with long blonde hair, dimples, pale blue eyes and a blush that rivals her dad’s.

Chapter Ten

Red

I’m lost at the moment. I don’t know what to feel about the news Nadia dropped on me. I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up. I’m afraid that this is not real, that Nadia is lying to me, but after seeing the prenatal vitamins on her stand, I know she isn’t lying. I kept the shock and freak-out session held back when I was in her room, but now, all bets are off.

I should have opened up to Nadia about my past and everything I’ve been through, but I chickened out. She has dealt with enough over the last few months, the last thing she needs to worry about is someone who doesn’t feel things for anyone besides her and what she can do to me both physically and mentally.

The Clubhouse is relaxed, the music is low key and people are drinking, dancing, playing the X-box and pool. Nolan and Krimson are sitting at a table without Noah. Allura and Iris from the Royal Harlots are sitting across from them, deep in conversation. Capone and Danyella are dancing with Nina, and Blayze and Monica are playing pool with Derange and Jezebelle. Jezebelle’s son, Seth, who is prospecting for us, is currently standing by the front door, waiting for someone to give him something to do. Tiny is still in recovery and Dagger is with him.Torch, Daisy and the twins are playing in front of the TV, giggles floating through the room. My prospect Bones is tending bar and I smile, proud of him. We will be voting on patching him in when he reaches his year mark in a few days. Bones has earned his patch, especially after he protected Daisy when he was a fresh prospect and almost died from it. Every once in a while he will have pain in his shoulder, but nothing he can’t deal with.

Pretty Boy is tending bar with Bones and he too will be close to getting his rockers. He put up a hell of a fight when Jezebelle, who is Derange’s Ol’ Lady, was attacked. Her son, Seth, is the product of rape by an Italian mafia Mufasa when Jezebelle was fifteen. Seth was shot while they were at a race and Pretty Boy was guarding them when they were attacked. They beat Pretty Boy so badly, that he had to spend two weeks in the hospital and have multiple surgeries. He still isn’t one hundred percent, but I think it’s more mental than physical.

I spot my best friend Aftermath and his Ol’ Lady Kensi sitting at the bar, both are nursing beers and making googly eyes at each other. I approach them and nod my head to Aftermath. He kisses Kensi and follows me to the dart board set up on the other side of the room with two fresh beers in his hand. He hands me one and leans against the wall.

“What’s up, Red?”

I pick up a set of darts and start throwing them at the bull’s eye. Hitting it twice and missing the third. I exhale a deep breath and run my hands over my head. “I wish I could tell you, Aftermath. I don’t know what I’m doing or how to do this.”

“Do what?” Aftermath probes.

“A relationship, a fa..” I stop before I tell Aftermath about the baby. I promised Nadia I wouldn’t say anything. “This thing between Nadia and me. I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do you want it?”

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