Page 32 of Jaded Red

“I’m not sure. My father is stable and Jax and I were talking about finding a place up here to be closer to Torch and thetwins.” Rose spots Jax and Torch messing around and a smile graces her lips.

“I’m sure Torch would love having you two here.”

Rose blushes. “I would love to stay here and get to know our niece and nephew.” She shrugs. “But it all depends on what the club thinks too.”

“Have Jax and Torch talk it over, work out the details and then Torch can bring it to the table at our next meeting.” I offer.

“Thanks, Red. And thank you for always having my back when no one else did. I appreciate it.” Rose walks off heading in Jax and Torch’s direction. I watch as she approaches them with her head held high. Rose deserves the best after everything she’s been through and I hope she gets it.

Nadia releases a deep yawn and I scoop her up into my arms, carrying her bridal style into the Clubhouse and toward our room. Nadia rests her arms around my neck and her lips are teasing my neck, driving me wild. I fumble a few times to open the bedroom door and then finally get it unlocked.

“Woman,” I growl, kicking our door closed behind me.

Nadia giggles and I set her down on the bed. I still haven’t told her about Tanya and my past and I know I need to do it, I just don’t know how. Capone’s words from earlier ring in my head and a scowl appears on my face.”You need to tell her about Tanya and your time in prison before she finds out on her own.”

I would give anything not to do this, but I know I need to. We only have six weeks left until our son comes into this world and I want no more secrets between us.

“What’s wrong, Matt?” Nadia’s finger smooths the wrinkle on my forehead.

“We need to talk.”

Chapter Fifteen

Nadia

“We need to talk,” Matt says and those four little words have my heart sinking into my stomach. Nothing good ever comes from someone saying this. The worst possible scenarios play in my head. My insecurities, which I’ve been working on, come rearing their nasty little voices at me.

You’re not good enough.

You’re worthless.

You’ll never amount to anything.

My worthless father’s voice rings in my head and I shake it away. I can be strong through this. I will be strong through this. I pull up my big girl panties, sit up on the bed and nod my head. I refuse to shed any tears over these four little words. Even though it’s hard with all these emotions.

“What?” I ask with a small but strong voice. I wait for Matt to speak before I completely lose my mind and blow a gasket at him. Matt has told me over and over again that he loved me and he’s proven that love every single day. Which is why it feels like my heart is breaking in two.

The blush I’ve grown to love and cherish forms on Matt’s face, starting at his hairline and creeping all the way down hisneck. “I need to tell you something.” He starts pacing the room back and forth, running his hands through his red hair. I grip the blankets tight, waiting for him to continue. “When I was a teenager, I was dating this girl named Tanya. I thought we would be together forever. One night we went to a party and that’s when my world changed.”

Red – 15 years ago

“Matt, are you ready to go?” Tanya asks, running her fingers through my hair. My face burns bright red and she giggles. “You know I love this blush.”

We’re at a friend’s party from school and people are getting carried away with drinking and fucking. Tanya disappeared with a few of her friends a couple of times through the night and each time she came back with a beer in her hand and a glossy look in her eyes. I stayed with water or soda knowing one of us had to remain sober. She’s getting a little tipsy and her hands keep roaming over my jeans cupping my length in her palm. I’ve had to stop her from unbuttoning my jeans a few times through the night. If this were any other girl and I was a different guy I would have let her stroke me until I exploded. We made a deal a few months ago that neither one of us were ready to take this next step until the other was, no matter how long it took. Even though I’ve been rock solid the moment Tanya comes into my vision, I hold back and do this for her. She deserves this much respect and more. I won’t go this far if she isn’t fully capable of herself. It’s my job to watch out for her and her safety.

I clear my throat and gaze down into her dark eyes. “Yes, I’m ready to go.” It’s getting late and I don’t want to haveTanya home past her curfew. My parents don’t care what time I get home, but Tanya’s does.

We say our goodbyes to everyone and climb into my pickup. The crisp night air feels good against my heated skin. I start the engine and Tanya slides next to me, resting her palm on my upper thigh. The heat from her touch races through my jeans straight to my aching erection. I shift uncomfortably, wondering what has caused her to be this brash. This isn’t how Tanya acts.

“Matt,” Tanya’s hot breath nips at my ear and my blood rushes south. “Touch me.”

My lips are on hers in a matter of an instant and my heart is beating hard in my chest. Tanya straddles me, grinding herself against my erection. She moans, opening her mouth to mine. I can taste beer and a hint of something else which stops me dead in my tracks. Tanya whimpers while still rubbing her hips back and forth.

“Why’d you stop?” She asks slurring her words slightly.

I hold her hips tight in my grip, stopping her from moving them and making me blow my load. I gaze into her dark eyes and a bucket of ice water dumps on my head. “What are you on?”

She looks at me with confusion in her dark eyes. “What?”

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