Page 35 of Jaded Red

A slap rings out and my mama sobs. “Go to hell, Andrew. Leave and never come back!”

I wait a moment before the heavy footsteps stomp across the hardwood floor. The front door slams shut, rattling the pictures on the wall. One falls to the floor, breaking into a million pieces, just like my life.

It’s been a couple of months since my dad walked out on my mom. She refuses to see him but she does make me go to his new apartment every other weekend. Since I’m not old enough in the state of California to choose not to go, I have no choice until I’m eighteen. Then I can cut all ties to this asshole. My father doesn’t speak about his other family and anger burns through my veins. I dread every other weekend when I have to go there. Every time it’s pure hell. I’m forced to stay in my room, not make a peep and only come down when he tells me to. Usually, it’s to make him food and eat. He even tells me I’m worthless in the kitchen and the only thing I will probably be good at is spreading my legs like my whore mother. That sends a shiver down my spine every time. After a while of listening to this, I start to believe it. Who wouldn’t when that is all you hear from a man who is supposed to protect you and love you unconditionally?

My mom has been acting strange lately, making me go to my father’s more and more. It’s like she is blind to his abuse and doesn’t want to see it. She’s so caught up in her own shame and humility that she is pushing me further and further away. She’s lost weight and has been drinking more.

One Sunday night about eight months after my mom and dad split, I had a feeling deep in my gut to go back to my mom’s house. I pull into the driveway and there is a strange car inthe driveway. I climb out of my car and cautiously make my way to the front porch. There is music coming from inside but no voices. I use my key to unlock the door and step inside. The first thing that hits me is the stench. Rotting food, body odor, garbage and something metallic invade my nose making me sick.

It's so dark in here with the curtains closed, not like it used to be. I round the corner and stop dead in my tracks. My mom is lying back on the couch, her head lulled to one side, a vacant look on her unnaturally pale face. Her arms are covered with bruises and there is a needle resting in her unclenched hand. A man is face down on the living room floor, not moving.

I hurry to my mom’s side, trying to wake her up. “Mama? Mama?” I tap her face a few times with no response. I grab her hand and it’s cold to the touch. Tears form in my eyes while I try to look for a pulse, even though I have no idea what I’m looking for. Her brown eyes once full of life stare at me vacant and lifeless.

“No, no, no! This cannot be happening. Mama! Mama! Please wake up!” Tears are rolling down my cheeks and I don’t do anything to stop them. I call nine-one-one and keep trying to wake her up. “Mama! You can’t leave me. Not with him, please!”

I’m sobbing and cradling my mom’s body when the police arrive. That night I lost the one person I cared about most in the world and was forced to live with a man who made my life a living nightmare.

Nadia – Present

I sit back lost in the memories of the damage my father did to me after my mom died. There is no simple way to do this except to rip the band-aid off. Matt has his palm resting gently on my growing belly, his other arm is wrapped around my shoulder offering me comfort when I need it the most. I rest my head on his shoulder and shake the memories of that night away. Nolan is staring at me with a murderous intent in his eyes. I know it’s not aimed at me but at the low-life sperm donor.

I look Nolan in the eyes, knowing this part will probably make him lose control. “Our father’s verbal abuse turned physical. He beat me until I blacked out from the pain, all while spitting on me and blaming me for my mom’s death. He was the one at fault. He was the one to blame. He was the one who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

“All I knew at the time was I had a brother named Nolan. Once I healed from his last beating, I took off with only a small bag and a pocket full of money to find you. I traced you all the way to Michigan and it turns out you weren’t the hidden family, I was.”

“How did you track me down?” Nolan asks confusion etched on his face.

“Well..” I trail off, wondering if I should tell them. Fuck it, no more secrets. “I learned a few things from some kids at school. Not even Matt knows about this. They taught me how to hack into certain databases. I wasn’t the best at it, but it got the job done.”

“Wait, you’re a hacker?” Matt asks shocked.

“Not as skilled as you, but yes I can hack into a few places I’m not supposed to be at. I’m not just a pretty face.” I bat my eyelashes at him and grin. Matt smiles wide and I can swear I see proudness shining in his pale blue eyes.

“Anyways, back to what I was telling you. I was devastated about the news, so I went back to L.A. without talking to you,Nolan, or telling you who I was. You had a happy life, a great racing career and the last thing I wanted to do was destroy it.”

“I wish you would have come to me. I would have protected you.” Nolan swallows hard and sadness shines in his eyes. “I would have strangled the asshole with my bare hands and enjoyed watching the life drain from his eyes. Will you ever forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you. You’re nothing like him.” I cover Nolan’s hand with my own, our complexion matching each other. “I didn’t know that at the time though. I thought you were just like him and I was scared.” I answer, trying to ease his guilt. “I stayed under the radar when I got back to Los Angeles to keep away from the asshole and found a home with the racing circuit. I had natural ability behind the wheel and I gave that credit to you, Nolan. I watched and studied the way you raced when I was in Michigan. Being at the racetrack brought me a sense of peace. Something I didn’t want to give up.”

I turn my attention to Krimson since this is about her too. “A couple of years after I found Nolan, he came to L.A. with you. I was deep in the racing circuit and knew nothing goes on without you knowing it and it was a little intimidating, but I managed to stay away from your crew’s attention. I saw Nolan at almost every race, only he didn’t see me hiding in the shadows. Your crew was more worried about finding out who killed your parents and little brother, they didn’t notice me. Not until the last day before you guys left for a while. There was a race Rush put together and the payout was something I desperately needed so I went. I blew the gaskets off the other drivers and that’s when Rush asked me to join his crew but I had to decline. If I entered your folds, I knew Nolan would find out and I couldn’t risk it.”

“Damn it.” Nolan thumps his fists on the table making our drinks shake. His icy glare turns to Matt. “Red, did you know the beatings?”

Matt swallows hard before looking at me. His pale blue eyes are pleading with me to understand.

I cover his hand with my own. “It’s ok, Matt. You can tell us. If you didn’t run a background check on me, I’d think you were the worst hacker around, not the best on the West Coast.”

Matt nods his head. “I knew most of it, but not all. I was furious you’d let that happen to your little sister and not protect her. I jumped the gun and accused you before I heard your side of the story. I thought you were a liar and didn’t deserve to have someone so precious in your life. It’s why I went off the rails and attacked you. All I could think about was the abuse Nadia endured while you lived the high life and I lost it.”

Nolan nods his head in understanding. “Truce?” He holds out his scarred hand and Matt takes it.

“Truce.”

Matt’s phone vibrates in his cut and it makes me jump. He pulls it out and looks at the screen. “Shit. Nadia, we’ve got to go.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask, panic settling in my stomach.

“Prez wants me back at the Clubhouse. Bones was watching my programs while we were gone and something went off. He won’t say what it is but he said we need to get there A.S.A.P. Nolan and Krimson, you’re welcome to come. This might have something to do with you, too.” Matt throws money on the table and helps me stand up. A dull pain hits my lower stomach but I ignore it.

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