Page 16 of The Golden Goalie

She looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “For the pelvic and breast exam.”

“Oh,” She disappears, leaving me all alone. I quickly change and shimmy into the awful gown and pull out my phone to google what in the world a pelvic exam entails. My eyes widen, and I groan. “Great.” I shouldn’t have worried about hurrying; the doctor doesn’t show up for another thirty minutes. By thetime he does, I’m shaking from being so cold. The cold’s making my nausea worse. I’ve already thrown up in the plastic bag in the trash can. I tied it tight; I’ll have to tell the nurse about it before I leave. I’m not looking forward to that conversation. The one good thing about the cold is that it helped me to be able to give urine for the urine test easily.

The next twenty minutes are definitely going in my “most awkward moments” records. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t a brisk older doctor with no bedside manner. I’m suddenly regretting the fact that I have no one with me, no one’s hand to squeeze when he performs the pelvic exam. Nobody to laugh with me later after the curmudgeonly doctor leaves the room. I’m finally able to get dressed and leave. I head out with a script for blood work, a sample pack of prenatal vitamins, and what’s left of my dignity. I’m going to be honest...not a lot. After another hour and a half of waiting, I finally get my blood work done. After throwing up in a paper bag once I get to my car, I begin the drive back to the library. Mrs. Randolph takes one look at my face and gives me a shooing motion. “Go home; you’re dead on your feet and no use to me that way.”

I’m too exhausted to fight her. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Go. Come back tomorrow rested and ready to work.”

I head to the door grateful, though I don’t tell her I’ll probably be just as exhausted tomorrow. But for now, I’ll take the reprieve.

“Ambs!” I nearly groan when I run into Cal’s group outside. “We were just coming to see you.”

“I have to go,” I tell him, trying to slip past him.

“Not so fast,” he says, snagging my arm. I try to pull away, but he has a tight grip on it. It’s not painful, but I just want to go. “Don’t you usually stay until late?”

“Usually, but tonight I have things I have to do.”Not a lie.I’m planning on going home and first taking a nap and then doingmy schoolwork. “I’ll see you around.” I pull my arm, and he lets me go. Without a backwards glance, I make my way to my car. When I’m finally in the driver’s seat, I put my head back against the rest. “I get to go home early,” I remind myself before despair can set in. I begin the commute home, anxious for a night off. Too bad that’s not what I actually get. I blame it on exhaustion that I didn’t see Bri’s car parked outside our house.

Chapter 8

Amber

I step inside and freeze when I hear my sister’s voice. I’m almost about to turn around when I hear my name called. “Amber?” My mom comes around the corner. “What are you doing home so early?” Brielle follows my mom, and my moment of escape is over.

“I got off early from the library. I’m heading to my room to study.” I walk past them, or at least try but Bri stops me.

“We were just talking about you.”

“Oh goody,” I can’t help but respond.

“Amber,” my mother scolds. “We’re worried about you.”

Anger and something else that feels a lot like shame wells up inside me. “Well, you don’t need to worry. I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” Brielle interjects. “Mom said you never eat, and I can tell.”

“Why eat when I know I’m just going to throw everything up?” I bite out. I don’t want to do this tonight; I don’t want to fight. “I’m going up to my room, okay?” I head towards the stairs.

“You can’t run away from this, just like you do every other responsibility,” Bri says, and I freeze. “You’re pregnant, Amber; this isn’t going to just go away. You have a baby in you, depending on you. For once in your life, you can’t be selfish.”

“Brielle,” my mother says, but I barely hear it. I barely hear anything through the roaring in my head.

I turn around, swallowing hard.I will not cry. I will not cry in front of them. “Selfish?” I repeat, proud of the fact that my voice doesn’t shake. My hands, though, that’s another story.

Brielle’s face softens. “You’re going to be a mother, Amber. You have to take this seriously.”

I bite my lip.Hard. “Iamtaking this seriously!”

Bri shakes her head. “You have responsibilities now. You have doctor’s appointments to attend, ultrasounds to schedule, baby products to start buying.”

“And what? You’re the expert with all the babies you’ve had?” I demand, hating it instantly when Bri’s head jerks back. I squeeze my fists. “I don’t want to do this tonight.” My voice is softer now.

“You never want to do this; this is why you’re in the predicament you’re in,” Bri responds.

“And what predicament is that, Dear Sister?” I ask, before I can help myself.

“Pregnant and alone. You have nothing. You haven’t finished college, you’re still living home with mom, and now you don’t even have the father of your baby.”

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