Page 3 of The Golden Goalie

What would it be like to have your life on track? To be living the life you want to live? My stomach clenches, and I feel like I’m going to be sick again. I put my head against the seat rest and close my eyes, willing the contents of my stomach to stay down. We ride in blissful silence, except for the soft sounds of the radio. If I could sleep, I think I would. His truck is so comfortable. I open my eyes sometime later when he stops. “Where are we?” I ask, blinking in the dark.

“My house,” he says, turning towards me.

“No,” I say quickly. “No, I can’t go there.” He doesn’t say anything, and I don’t look over at him. “I’m sorry.” My words are soft. “I just...I can’t...”

“Okay. I’ll take you somewhere else.”

I blink back tears and grit my teeth. I will not cry here in his truck, with this guy I barely know. Sure, I’ve seen Rico around here and there. He's one of Aiden’s friends, and he’s the goalie for the Green Thunder hockey team everybody in town’s obsessed with. We were even in Brielle’s and Aiden’s wedding together, but I barely remember that day. That was not a good day for me. My stomach clenches, and I squeeze my eyes shut as the memories of that horrible day wash over me. It was only a little over a week ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago. The wedding itself was beautiful, and so was my sister. I blink backtears as I think back on that day. She was so happy, and I was so happy for her. Aiden was beaming; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so much. They’re so obviously in love. A tear drips down my cheek, and I hurriedly wipe it away. I was happy that day, so very happy. And then everything changed. I squeeze my eyes shut and refuse to fall apart.Focus on something else, Amber. Anything else.I think about the waves on the beach. The turquoise of the water. The softness of the sand beneath my feet. The way Brielle looked when she walked down the aisle. The happiness on her’s and Aiden’s faces when they danced. How beautiful our mom looked.My mom.I put my hand over my stomach, certain that this is the time I’m going to throw up all over Rico’s truck. My mouth waters.No. No, no, no.I look around frantically and spot my salvation. “Can you pull into that gas station, please? I need to use the bathroom really quickly.” I barely get the words out. I swallow all the extra saliva in my mouth and pray I’ll make it to the bathroom in time.

Rico pulls into the parking lot and parks. I’m out the door before the truck comes to a full stop. I think he calls my name, but I rush inside. I scan the cruddy interior, looking desperately for a bathroom.Bingo.I throw open the door and practically run into an unoccupied stall. I throw up and then dry heave over and over into the toilet, until I see stars.Take a breath, Amber,I tell myself. It takes me a few minutes to calm down. Finally, the worst of it subsides...for now, anyway. I’m not sure how long I hang over the toilet before I finally push myself to my feet. I feel like a dead woman walking, but I wash my hands and make my way out of the restroom. I buy a bottle of water with the few dollars I have in my pocket and take a long, cold drink. When I feel a little more calm, I head outside and over to Rico’s truck. He’s on the phone, leaning against his truck. I don’t make eye contact as I walk past him and climb into the passenger side andclose the door. He climbs in only moments later. I feel his gaze on me, but I keep my head turned towards the window.

Without a word, he pulls out of our parking spot. I don’t know where he’s driving, but I don’t really care. I’m past caring about anything. I close my eyes and will my stomach to stay calm. Between the quietness of the cab and the lull of the drive, I find my eyes getting heavy. I haven’t slept well in the last week, and I feel it catching up to me. I suddenly can’t keep my eyes open another minute.

The next thing I know, a hand shakes me gently. “Amber.”

My eyes pop open, and I jerk in the seat. “Sorry,” I mumble.

“It’s okay,” he says quietly.

I look out the window and recognize Aiden’s house. Well, I guess it’s Brielle’s house now too since they’re married. I frown, but Rico’s already climbing out of the truck. He opens my door a moment and puts out his hand, but I pretend not to see it as I hop down.

“I don’t have a key,” I tell him, still not looking at him.

“I know where it is.” He walks towards the front porch, and I follow him on numb legs. Soon, he opens the door and flips on the lights. I walk past him, feeling a hundred years old. “Aiden said you know where the guest room is.”

I nod and suddenly feel awkward. “Um, okay. Thank you for the ride. I’m sorry you had to drive me all over creation.” I get a look at the clock on the stove. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize it was so late. I’m sorry,” I apologize again.

“It’s really not a problem,” he says. I can feel his gaze on me, but I don’t look at him. “You, uh, sure you’re going to be good here?”

“Yeah.” I glance around the living room. It suddenly feels like everything is closing in around me. I panic and dart towards the bathroom. Closing the door, I slide to the floor and put my head on my arms. The panic I’ve tried to push away all night suddenlyclaims me, sucking the oxygen from my lungs. I crawl to the toilet and once again heave into the toilet. There’s a knock on the door.

“Amber?”

“Go away,” I mutter, miserable as I wretch again.

There’s only silence, and I find myself grateful for it. My head hangs over the toilet as I try to stop the cramp under my breastbone.Deep breath in...and out.I’m not sure how long I’m going to hang over this toilet. But until I can stay calm, I’m not going anywhere. I slip off my shoes and get as comfortable as is possible when you’re hanging over a toilet. I absently wonder when my life got so off-track and what in the world I’m going to do to fix it.

Chapter 2

Rico

I watch Amber walk into the gas station before pulling out my phone. I blow out a breath and step out of the truck before bothering my friend on his honeymoon. “Hey Man,” I say as soon as Aiden answers. “I’m so sorry to bother you. I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t have to.”

“It’s fine. What’s wrong?” Aiden is nothing if not blunt.

I run a hand over my chest. “I picked up Amber from that house. That’s a story for another time. But she doesn’t want to go home, and I don’t know what to do with her. I took her to my house, but she didn’t want to go there either. I don’t know what to do with her.” I feel stupid saying it, but I really don’t know what to do. “I’d put her in a hotel for the night, but she doesn’t have anything with her.”

“Take her to our house,” Aiden says. “The spare key is under the second flowerpot on the right of the door.”

I smirk. “You know that’s where people look first, right?”

“You want in or not?” He grunts out, and I can’t help but laugh.

“I thought Bri was sweetening you up.”

“She’s trying, but thenyoucalled.”

I laugh. “Okay, Old Man. I’ll let you be.” I hesitate a moment, wondering if I should tell him that something seems really wrong with Amber. I decide against it. They deserve this time away, and I know Brielle will just worry if she knows...well, more than she already worries about Amber. “Give my love to your better half,” I tell him. He doesn’t even say goodbye beforehanging up, and I can’t help but grin. That man is so head-over-heels for his woman. I catch Amber out of the corner of my eye as I hang up. She climbs into the truck without acknowledging me. I stand there a moment longer, trying to think best how to help her. Without any solid ideas, I climb into the truck. I glance over at her, but her face is hidden by her long hair as she looks out the window. Without a word, I start the truck and make the drive to Aiden’s house. When we get there, I stop the truck and rub a hand over my face. My early morning is starting to catch up to me. When I turn to Amber, I still. She’s asleep. I stare at her a moment. I never get a chance to just look at her. I can’t even see her entire face because of the way she’s turned. My heart thumps in my chest, and I wish I could do something to take her burdens away. I don’t know what’s going on in that beautiful head of hers, but it’s obvious she’s not in a good place. I remind myself that she has a boyfriend. With that awful thought spinning around in my head, I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. “Amber.” She jolts, and I withdraw my hand.

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