Page 54 of The Golden Goalie

“Any pelvic infections?”

I answer each question to the best of my ability, but it’s hard for me to come up with the answers. “I just need to know if my baby is okay,” I say more than once. I feel like my world is spinning out of control, and I don’t know how to stop it. Theytake my blood and give me an ultrasound. When I see my little girl moving around, I take my first full breath in hours. “Why is she moving so much?” I ask the tech.

“She’s responding to your panic right now. The more you can calm, the more she will calm.”

I take a deep breath and dig deep for some kind of calm, not for me, but for my baby. When I’m wheeled back into the room, I realize Rico is still here. He helps me back into the bed. “You don’t have to stay,” I tell him.

“Yes, I do.”

And that’s that. It’s nearly morning by the time we finally get to see a doctor. “Hi Amber, I’m Dr. Kennedy. It sounds like you’ve had a long night.” I nod. “Let’s get this figured out, so we can get you home for some sleep, okay.”

Her calm demeanor helps me to calm down. “Sounds good.”

“Now, I first want to say that baby girl is okay. She’s healthy and whole, nothing to worry about there.”

I take a deep breath. “You, my dear, are a different story.” I stiffen and turn my panicked gaze to Rico. Without saying a word, he picks up my hand and puts it in his bigger one. I cling to it like a lifeline as I wait for the doctor to say more. “Have you had a rough pregnancy?” she asks. I hesitate. “Have you been unable to eat much because of being sick?” she asks, and I nod. “Okay. Well, let me give it to you straight. You're dehydrated, and you’re anemic, meaning your iron levels are low. You’re underweight, and your baby is underweight.” It feels like a vice is gripping my heart, making it hard to breathe. “And your blood pressure is sky high. Have you been stressed for this pregnancy?” She looks up at me, and I can’t find words to answer.

“Yes,” Rico answers for me, squeezing my hand. “She’s been really stressed. She works too hard, doesn’t eat or drink enough, and is working full time and taking classes full time.”

The doctor’s face tightens in concern, and I suddenly feel like it’s all too much. Tears burn the backs of my eyes. “I’m sorry; I’ll do better, I promise. Just tell me what to do.”

The doctor studies me a moment, and I feel like she’s seeing too much. “It’s not an issue of trying harder. Sometimes, you need help. That's okay; that’s where we come in. Now, what can we do to rectify these issues?”

She spends at least thirty minutes with me. By the time she finishes, my mind is whirling. I barely remember to thank her before she leaves, promising a nurse will be in to follow up. Rico squeezes my hand; I didn’t even realize he was still holding it. “How are you doing?” he asks softly.

“Overwhelmed,” I answer honestly.

“I get that. Let’s just take it one thing at a time, okay. Let’s get finished here and get you home and then go from there.”

I close my eyes wearily. It sounds like a good plan. I hear a soft knock on the door and open my eyes. When Bri and Aiden walk in, my eyes widen in surprise. “Oh, Amber,” Bri says walking over to me. I glance over at Rico.

“I texted Aiden,” he says softly, right before Bri gives me a gentle hug.

“Are you okay?” she asks softly.

I shrug, feeling so overwhelmed. “I don’t know how to do this.” To my horror, tears leak out of the corners of my eyes. Bri’s eyes immediately tear up as well.

“Oh, Amber.” She leans close and pulls me into a tight hug. Something comes over me at the feel of my older sister’s arms around me, and the tears begin to flow in earnest.

“I’m doing a terrible job of this.” My voice is muffled against her shirt, but she hears me.

“Amber Nicole,” she says in warning.

I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. “You sound like Mom.”

She gives a small smile at that. “Whatever it is, Amber, we’ll work through it with you. You’re not alone.”

Fresh tears come at her words, and I nod, unable to say anything for the emotion clogging my throat. There’s a quick knock on the door, and it opens as the nurse strolls in. If she’s surprised by the extra people in our room, especially now that there are not one but two rather large males in here, she doesn’t show it on her face. “All right, Dad. I’m going to give all the discharge paperwork to you to work on. Mom, you and I are going to go through these papers.”

Silence descends on the room, and I don’t dare look over at Rico. I make the mistake of looking at Bri. Her eyebrows are nearly to her hairline. I look back at the nurse and see Rico take the papers from her without saying a word. “We’ll, uh, wait in the hall,” Bri says, and she and Aiden leave the room.

“All right, let’s go through these forms,” the nurse says.

We go over diet, proper hydration, what vitamins I need to add and blood pressure medication, how to eat more even when I’m not feeling up to it, and how to minimize stress. I’m told what to do if the bleeding continues. She also advises me to follow-up with my OB next week. We finally finish, and I’m left depleted and exhausted. I'm really feeling the night of no sleep.

Rico quietly hands me the forms when the nurse is working on the laptop and points to a few questions he doesn’t know the answers to. I fill in the rest of it and hand it back to him. “Okay,” the nurse says once she gets everything from him. “We’ll start the discharge process. You should be cleared to leave in the next half hour or so.” She disappears, and I take a deep breath.

“How are you feeling?” Rico asks softly.

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