Page 8 of The Golden Goalie

“You’re pregnant?”

I freeze. Everybody freezes. I pull back and don’t look at my mom or Brielle, but the damage is done. “You’re pregnant?” I hear the shock and hurt in my sister’s voice.

“Amber?” My mom asks, uncertain.

I shake my head, trying to get things back under control. I send a glare at Aiden. “You need to tell Rico to keep his big mouth shut.”

“You’re pregnant and Rico knows?” Bri asks. “Before us?”

“Amber, how could you?” That’s my mom.

“What were you thinking?” Brielle asks.

“When are you due?”

“Is Adam the dad?”

“What are you going to do?”

The room seems to shrink around me, and I wish I could sink into the carpet. “I messed up, okay?” I finally shout over the questions. “Don’t you think I know that?” I yell. Silence fills the room. I feel like I can’t breathe. “Yes, I got pregnant...to a monster. He hates me and wants nothing to do with me or the...baby.” I can barely get the word out. “I’m completely on my own. Single. Still in college. Still living with my mom. I know nothing about being pregnant or becoming a mom. I messed up in the biggest way possible. I thought he loved me, and...” I shake my head and curse myself as emotion cuts off my voice, and the first tear falls.

“Oh, Amber,” my mom says, rushing towards me. I stiffen, but she doesn’t stop. She wraps her arms around me, and for the first time in over a week I feel like I can breathe. I breathe in her scent and allow it to comfort me. I know I’m not a little girlanymore, but sometimes you just need your mom to hug you and tell you everything’s going to be okay.

“I’m sorry,” I manage to get out. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, hush.” Her voice is stern. She pulls back and puts her hands on my shoulders, even though I’m a little taller than her. “You listen to me, daughter of mine.” My eyes meet hers, and I see the intensity there. “A baby is the greatest blessing and gift. You will not be sorry for the miracle of life, even if it’s not how you would have planned it.” A tear drips down my face.

“But I know better,” I whisper. “I wasn’t going to, but he just kept...” my words fall silent.

“Did he pressure you, Amber?” Brielle’s voice is soft but strong. It’s a voice I recognize; she’s about to go all mama bear on me. Even though she’s not my mom, she’s always been protective of me. The room is silent as everybody waits for my answer.

“He didn’t like...force me,” I finally get out.

“But you felt like you had to?” Brielle asks.

“I—” my voice breaks. I swallow. “I’m an adult; I made the choices. Now, I have to deal with the consequences.”

“Amber.” My sister’s voice is full of pain.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

My mom wraps her arms around me, and Brielle joins us in a group hug. And then the tears come in earnest. And then I tell them; it’s like I can’t keep it in anymore. “I thought he loved me. So, when he asked me over and over again, I thought it was because he just desperately wanted to be with me. He would guilt me; say things like if I really loved him, I’d show him physically. I don’t know; he just wore me down over time. I felt so guilty.” Shame rushes through me. “So, I finally started doing what he wanted me to.”

“Breathe, Baby,” my mom says, as she runs her hand down my back.

I swallow and close my eyes. “He used to say terrible things about me in front of his friends, about being a prude and more. I just finally caved. I shouldn’t have; I know. I just...”

“He pressured you,” Bri says, her voice angry. Brielle doesn’t get angry. Ever.

“It’s still my fault,” I remind her.

She shakes her head and looks away. “When are you due, Sweetheart?” my mom asks.

“I don’t know exactly when. I haven’t been to the doctor yet.”

“When did you find out?” she asks quietly.

I glance at Brielle. Understanding dawns. “It was the day of the wedding, wasn’t it?”

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