Page 44 of Heal Me

He doesn’t say anything. He just sits there, taking my banging fists until I wear myself out and break down, fat tears rolling down my cheeks as raw sobs claw at my throat. When I’ve worn myself out, too weak to resist his comfort, he pulls me into him. Then he just holds me. It’s strange, though, there seems to be regret in his arms as he grabs me so tightly mybreathing becomes labored. It makes the hope flicker back on, but the light is faint. And as Dorin remains quiet, showing no signs whatsoever of changing his mind, I can’t take it anymore.

“Sell me,” I say with determination.

Dorin inhales deeply, and his breath shudders as he pushes the air back out. It’s almost like he can’t stand the idea. But when he grabs my shoulders and holds me out to look at me, his gaze is emotionless—resigned. I have to look away quickly because it’s too painful seeing him, hoping and wanting, and having that hope crushed.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.”

He looks off to the side, his jaw clicking as he seems to consider something. When he looks back at me, there’s a strange sort of hope in his eyes. “I’ll keep you for a while. You can stay here, like you do now. I’ll take care of you and protect you until I find a good buyer. Someone who will be merciful.”

“How long will that take?” I ask, my voice straining with a new well of grief.For a while.That’s all I get.

“I don’t know. A few months. Maybe a year.”

I shake my head with hopelessness. “I—No. It’s too long.” I pull away from him, jerking back when he tries to touch me again. “I can’t bear it. It hurts too much. Just get it over with.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Sell me. Now. I can’t be around you anymore.”

His jaw tightens, and something dark settles over his features. He looks me up and down, then says, “Okay. I’ll put you on tonight’s auction. I’ll come get you in a few hours to get you ready.”

My throat tightens, every nerve in my body feeling raw and exposed at the mere proximity to him—aching for him and knowing he doesn’t want me. “No. I can’t do this anymore. Sendsomeone else. I can’t be around you. I just—” My voice breaks. “I can’t.”

The darkness in his eyes deepens, turning his pupils into two black pits.

It’s almost like my rejection angers him. But before I can examine his expression further or respond, he turns his back to me. A sharp ache spears through my bones as I watch his big frame approach the door and I realize this will be the last time I see him. I want to rush up and grab him—say something. Give him one final hug. But the hurt is too deep. I just sit there and watch him go.

28

DORIN

I don’t know what’s happening to me as I leave Lavinia’s cell. Anger coils tight in my muscles, and I feel out of control in a way that scares me. I need to get out of here, or I’ll risk causing so much damage Mikhail will send me away for good.

On the way out of the dungeon, I pop my head into Dax’s office, relieved to find him at his desk so I don’t need to go looking for him, prolonging the risk of me fucking up beyond repair.

“I need you to add a girl to the auction tonight,” I tell him.

“Which girl?”

“248101.”

Dax lifts his brows in surprise. “Number one? The girl who sings?”

“Just do it,” I snap, leaving the room before I break his nose for asking so many damn questions.

My blood pounds through my veins as I ascend the stairs to my quarters in the tower, taking two steps at a time. My adrenaline is spiking, violence crackling beneath my skin. I want to tear everything apart and burn this place to the ground. Ten years ago, I would have done it, but I’ve learned enough self-control and found ways to cope.

Not bothering to change, I whistle at Rex, who comes bouncing off the couch, ready to go out.

I spend three hours in the forest with him, running, walking, sitting on the edge of a cliff and staring out at the untamed wilderness. Then I run again, buzzing with new adrenaline and fury.

When I get back, I dump onto the couch, breathing hard. My fists clench and unclench as I stare around the room, imagining all the destruction I want to wreak.

I glance at the clock. Still five hours until the auction starts.

It’s a late auction today. The buyers will start with a fancy dinner in the upstairs dining room, then free access to a few chosen girls in the dungeon before retreating to the auction room for drinks and a presentation of the girls that are up for sale.

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