Page 57 of Heal Me

“Is it okay if he comes closer?” Dorin asks.

I nod.

“Free,” Dorin tells Rex, and he jumps to his feet and scuttles closer, sniffing at my arms and all but climbing into my lap to smell my hair. I draw back a bit but continue stroking, nonetheless, enjoying his eager exploration and the feeling of his soft fur brushing my skin. I want to burrow my head into it and give the dog a big hug. When he keeps sniffing, poking his snout at me and swishing his tail happily, I end up doing it.

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head in his fur, feeling a rush of… life—desire to go on—as I soak up the happy, exuberant energy of the big dog. He proves to be surprisingly cuddly, angling his head to the side, almost like a cat, when I scratch behind his ear. He crowds me in return, pressing his head into me in a hug of its own.

When I glance at Dorin, he’s watching us with a stunned expression, full of awe. A big smile lights up his eyes and makes his lips widen as he holds my gaze, and that’s when I realize I’m smiling.

Hope blooms in my chest. It’s a careful kernel, but it’s there, and for once, it doesn’t just feel like a small glimmer in the darkness, but a full bright ray of sunshine that might shine upon me. I don’t dare to believe it might be real, but the feeling remains as Dorin lifts me onto the bed and lies down behind me, stroking me gently while Rex lies before me and I fall asleep with my hands nestled in his fur.

37

DORIN

A few days later, I suck up my pride and ask Mikhail to bring Dax’s girl back. Lavinia has been doing better, sitting up in bed, letting me take her to the window, and letting me read to her while Rex curls up at her side. But as much as I want to fix her myself, I want to do what’s best for her even more, and letting her see her friend might speed things along.

An annoying-as-hell smile spreads over Mikhail’s face. “I told—”

“Don’t even start,” I cut him off before he can put more words to his ridiculous self-satisfaction. “Are you gonna bring her to Lavinia or not?”

His expression sobers as he sighs. “I’ll try. But I’m not sure Dax will let me after the way you broke our deal the last time.”

My voice becomes a frustrated growl as I fail to rein in my anger. “I didn’t hurt her. I didn’t even fucking touch her.”

“No, but you broke our deal.”

“Whatever. If he wants to come, he can. But he’s staying in the living room, and you’re staying with the girls.” I can’t believe I’m suggesting this—that I’m actually allowing Dax into my quarters after what he did. What annoys me even more is that I’m starting to understand why he’d allow his girl to go to my place without him.Shit,I’m becoming soft like him. Gnashing my teeth together, I ignore the realization.

“I’ll ask him,” Mikhail agrees, and before he can throw more smug comments my way, I trudge on.

When he calls me in the evening to let me know Dax has agreed and they’ll drop by in the morning, I realize it might be a really fucking bad idea to bring Dax here. The mere sight of him might traumatize Lavinia. I’m about to shut the whole thing down but decide to ask her first.

The sight that meets me in the bedroom loosens some of the knots in my chest. Lavinia and Rex are lying on the bed, him resting his head on his paws, looking very contented, while she gently rubs his fur. With her back turned to me, I can’t see her face, but those small movements of her fingers and her relaxed position are enough to drain some of the tension from my body.

I carefully scoot onto the bed, leaning against the headboard beside her and running my hand over her soft locks. She gives a restful sigh, and relief washes away a little more of the tension stuck in my shoulders.

I close my eyes for a beat, just soaking up the moment. I can’t believe we’re actually here, all three of us. I’ve fantasized about this but never dared to believe I could have something as calm and comfortable in my life. But here I am.

Lavinia’s breathing is deepening, verging on sleep, when I realize a lot longer than a moment has passed.

“Lavinia. My sweet so—” I stop myself before saying songbird. “My sweet girl. I have something to ask you before you fall asleep.”

She slowly turns to look at me, eyes blinking drowsily.

I stroke the hair from her face and brush my knuckles over her cheek. “I want to bring your friend—Emma—here again. But since I fucked up the last time, Dax won’t let her come alone. He’ll stay in the living room with me, and Mikhail will be in here with the two of you. You’ll be safe. I’ll protect you. Would that be okay with you?”

A wealth of emotion flashes through her eyes, and I think the mere idea is going to throw her into a fit of panic. But then the storm settles. Acceptance calms her expression, and she nods.

“Are you sure?”

She reaches up to take my hand and nods again.

I watch her closely for a moment. “Okay,” I agree when I don’t see any further signs of the conflicting emotions. “They’ll be here in the morning.”

***

Dax and I take a seat at each end of the couch, gluing our eyes to the bedroom, not casting a single glance at one another. I’m fucking jealous of Rex, who scurries into the bedroom along with Mikhail and the girls. He won’t leave Lavinia’s side for a single moment. When I took them for a walk in the forest yesterday, he remained right next to her instead of bouncing off to explore like he usually does. I want to do the same. I hate it every time I have to leave to tend to my responsibilities in the dungeon, but knowing Rex watches over her makes it easier.

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