Page 58 of Heal Me

The girls take a seat on the bed, their backs to us to watch the view outside. I want to bark at Mikhail when he sits in my recliner and fucking takes his phone out. He’s supposed to keep an eye on them. But then again, I don’t think Dax could convince his girl to hurt Lavinia, just like I couldn’t convince Lavinia to hurt his girl. And Rex is as good a guard as any. He might look all cute and cuddly as he rests his head on Lavinia’s lap, enjoying her petting, but he’d tear anyone apart who tried to harm her.

I stay aware of Dax the whole time without looking at him. He seems to do the same, his posture rigid, tension rolling off him in waves. I don’t know how long we sit like that, both on high alert, not saying anything but being fully aware of each other. Maybe a whole hour.

Mikhail snaps us both out of the stiff tension with a sudden clap of his hands. “Chop, chop, time to leave.”

Pressing my hands to my thighs, I prepare to burst into action, but Mikhail is laid-back as ever as he pockets his phone and gets up.

Casting a glance at Dax, I quickly remove my hands from my thighs as I find him in the same position. He gives me a cold look when his girl comes out, and he’s quick to guide her toward the door, away from me.

I scoff quietly. He can protect her all he wants, but eventually, I’ll get to her.

She leans up to whisper something to him, making him pause.

“Donotgo to him,” he stresses in a low voice, then grabs her arm as she turns to me.

Her eyes flit up and down, between me and the floor, and her chin lowers in deference. Maybe fear. Part of me wants to scoff and ridicule her, but then there’s a part that has me tilting my head slightly, making my eyes glide up and down her delicate frame, taking in her submissive stance. She looks like a nervous little kitten, and I almost want to go scratch her behind the ear.

Shoving the ridiculous thought aside, I demand, “What is it?”

She licks her lips, then says in a voice so soft I almost don’t hear, “You should get her a violin.”

Before I can inquire to see if I heard right, she’s out the door, scurrying away—and there’s that kitten image again. I almost understand why Dax is so damn smitten with her.Almost.But it’s still ridiculous how soft he’s become for a woman, letting her affect him like that.

I make my way to the bedroom and lift Lavinia onto my lap, needing to feel her close—to know she’s safe. Rex jumps on the bed and nudges his head between us, and I readjust Lavinia to make room for him.

That’s when I once again realize I’ve gone soft myself. And not just for Rex, but for a fucking girl too.I’m just like Dax.

The thought bugs the hell out of me, and I try to deny it. But as Dax comes here with his girl several times over the next few days, the similarities become glaring. What I also realize is that it might not be such a bad thing. As much as I found Dax weak for caring for a girl, I now find a certain respect for his fierce protectiveness toward her. She might be his weakness, but she’s also his strength—someone giving him the will to go through fire. Just like I’d do for Lavinia. As much as I feel weak and scared of losing her, she makes me feel strong too. When I’m around her, the voices in my head fade, dulling my temper and strengthening my control, and seeing the way she responds to me—the way I’m once again healing her—makes me feel powerful.

When Dax leaves that day, I give him a curt nod. His brows draw tight, suspicion darkening his eyes. The idiot doesn’t understand that I’m trying to convey my appreciation. I sure am not about to put words to it, though.

But the nod was genuine. Lavinia lights up whenever Dax’s girl is here. Her writing on the notepad I’ve given her becomes more eager with each time her friend is here. It even rubs off on the amount she communicates with me. It’s still mostly practicalities, but every now and then, she’ll write something that Rex did while I was gone, like when he chased a fly and almost choked on it when he caught it. Seeing her eyes light up when she wrote that nearly had me jumping her like a feral beast in heat, but I’m still holding back with her, sticking to kisses and caresses, not wanting to push too hard, too fast.

So even though I’m not prepared to voice my gratitude, I just might end up sparing both Dax and his girl.

I’m not happy about forfeiting my vengeance, letting Dax get away with taking her fucking voice. But as I take Emma’s adviceand order a violin for Lavinia, a new hope grows inside me—that Lavinia might gain a new voice.

38

LAVINIA

“I have something for you,” Dorin says one morning when he comes into the bedroom.

I’ve just gotten dressed, ready to go for what has become our regular morning walk. Rex hovers around me as I walk to the bed to sit. My legs are still weak after such a long period of inactivity, and Rex seems to sense it, always at my side from the moment I leave the bed, ready to offer support if needed.

Dorin comes to sit beside me, a long cardboard box in his arms. Setting it on his lap, he says, “Open it.”

Rex jumps onto the bed, rushing around us and sticking his snout between us to sniff the contents suspiciously.

“I swear he was a guard dog in his former life,” Dorin says, giving Rex a good head scratch. “And a lap dog in the life before it.”

Leaning down to Rex with a smile, I part my lips to tell him what a good boy he is. A pang of longing contracts my chest as I snap my lips shut, remembering I can’t give voice to those words, and have to settle for showing him with a kiss on his head.

“He knows,” Dorin says, voice full of sympathy and understanding.

I lift my eyes to his, pausing in my movements at his knowing gaze.

“Your touch and your body language are plenty to tell him how much you appreciate him.”

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