Page 128 of First Chance

“Oh, right.” His head tilts up, hearing the disappointment in my voice.

“Do you want to come with me?” He asks hesitantly.

The sweet man that he is. He can’t stand to see me sad.

“I’d love to.”

* **

“Right there.” His arm stretches past me, pointing to a tree fifty feet in front of us. “Look up.”

We’re in the enclosed side-by-side, deep into bear territory. When he said he was checking fences, I had no idea we’d be inside the enclosures with the bears, but I haven’t been able to tame my excitement.

“Oh, oh. I see him!”

“It’s a her. Minnie.”

“Aw, Minnie. Why is she here?”

“She is mostly deaf after getting hit by a car. She was in treatment for so long that she got used to being hand-delivered food. They didn’t think she’d reintegrate well back into the wild. We think she was the one eating the rat poison, but other than a few piles of puke, she’s been fine.” He drives on and I wave to the bear that gives zero shits about me.

“We might see Rocko, he usually hangs out near Minnie. I think he’s tried to mate with her, but she’s fixed, so.” He shrugs.

“Why did they do that?”

“She was pregnant when she was hit by the car. Taking the cub out and attempting to save it ended up causing more damage. It didn’t survive.”

My lips droop as heaviness overtakes me.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, reaching over to squeeze my hand. He pulls away, but I hold onto it.

“I guess not all of us are meant to be mothers.”

“Becky used to think that, too. Now she is one. There’s always a way around roadblocks.”

“I think I would adopt someday, if I was stable and established.” I tip my head to the side, pondering it. “But, mostly, I’d wait until I was implicitly happy with my life.”

“I hope that happens for you, darlin’.”

“What about you? Are you happy?”

“I’m happier now than I ever have been, but not with my life.” He squeezes my hand.

“You deserve a happy life, too.”

“Maybe.”

“Loch–”

“Look, right over there is Rocko.” He points to a small gap in between some trees, and I watch the huge black bear amble clumsily through the brush. “His equilibrium is all off. That’s why he walks like that.”

“There’s another one.” I point in the other direction, barely seeing the black fur through the trees.

“That’s Dodie.”

“I’d love to get a couple of pictures. I wrote about him in my thesis.”

He looks at me in surprise. “About what?”

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