Page 153 of First Chance

It feels like I’m losing more than I bargained for.

“Hey, you okay?” Lochlan asks, coming up beside me on the porch.

I shake my head and melt into his chest.

“I know he hates me, but how could he be so cruel?”

“Your brother is scum of the earth, darlin’.”

“I don’t know what I ever did to my family that was so wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. They never deserved you.”

I laugh, sadly. “I don’t think they see it that way.”

“Fuck, em.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“It’s all the wisdom in my old age.”

I slap his chest. “You’re not that old.”

“Old enough to know better,” he murmurs against my head.

I ignore his loaded statement because I don’t have the energy to argue with his moral compass tonight.

“What if I go to the media? Tell them the truth about Conrad and my dad both abandoning children…”

“That’ll ruin your clean break from them, darlin’. If you drag them through the mud, they’ll put you through the ringer, I guarantee it.”

“I know, but what else do I have to lose? I don’t have to worry about my parents’ approval anymore. I have nothing to lose. No one.”

“You always have me.”

“You want me to leave.”

“I don’twantyou to leave.”

“But, you’re insisting that I do.”

“That’s different. I’ve been trapped behind these fences so long that I know how selfish it is to ask you to stay.”

“It’s not selfish ifI want to stay,” I whisper against his chest, and his arms tighten around me.

“That’s exactly why you need to go.”

“Even though you love me?”

“I can’t let this place be all there is for youbecauseI love you.”

It’s the first time he’s said it outright, and I can’t help but tip my head so I can look at him. “When did you know?”

“That I was in love with you?”

My breath hitches, hearing him say it with conviction. “Yeah.”

“When I watched you pick pieces of grass off my grandparents’ headstone.”