Page 121 of Maybe We Can Fake It

I swipe at my eyes the same way he did, as if the tears offend me.

It kills me to think my relationship with him could’ve been different all this time if only we’d been more open with each other sooner. We still have more time though. This conversation doesn’t have to be the last time we’re honest with each other.

But as long as we’re being honest right now—

“I love you too, Dad.”

“You want a beer?” he asks, standing abruptly.

I laugh. “Sure.”

When he comes back with a bottle for me and a new one for himself, he turns on the TV, but we don’t really watch it. We just talk. About random stuff, nothing important.

It occurs to me that this could be a good time to address his habit of using gender stereotypical language, and how that can also be harmful, even if he doesn’t realize it. But honestly, I’d rather deal with that issue another day. Right now, I’m enjoying that the two of us can still be like this, how we’ve always been with each other.

Only it’s even better somehow, now that everything’s out in the open.

He surprises me when he smirks and says, “So Brenden, huh?”

My face heats. “Yeah, but I fucked it up.”

“But you love him?” he questions.

“Yeah. I do.”

He takes a pull from his beer, then asks, “Did you tell him?” And I don’t even have to answer. After a few seconds of my silence, he huffs. “Dumbass.”

For a moment, I gape at him, but then I can’t help chuckling. Because he’s not wrong. And also, it’s so strange that I’m sitting here talking to my dad about a guy I love. Strange, but not bad.

It feels like there’s so much more I could tell him. About me. About me and Brenden and how I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. I might not be great at talking about this kind of stuff, but being with Brenden has helped me become better at it.

Truthfully, I think justknowinghim has made me better in a bunch of different ways. And damn. That’s one of the many reasons I need him back in my life, isn’t it?

As I sit here, drinking a beer with my dad, I realize I have my answer for May.

I’m ready to be the man Brenden Sanderson deserves.

And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to him.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

BRENDEN

“Look,Iknowyousign my paychecks, but could you please take your sad, pathetic face out of my kitchen? You’re distracting me and scaring the new guys.”

It takes me a second to realize Addison is talking to me. And another second to process what she just said. I glance around to find her staring at me, while her new hires are standing at one of the prep tables, awkwardlynotlooking at me as they’re chopping or mixing or seasoning, or whatever it is they’re supposed to be doing.

Oh.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on this metal stool in the corner, but the coffee in my mug is cold. This is what I’ve been like for the past week. Sad and pathetic. Missing Travis.

Not only missing what I thought we could have, but also missing the decade-long friendship that came first. That might be what hurts the worst. The fact that I can’t even talk to him, see him. And in a town this small, avoiding someone is also pretty freaking difficult.

So maybe I’ve been spending more time at the inn than I need to. I didn’t think anyone had noticed though.

“I’m just taking a break,” I tell Addison lamely.

“Sure you are.” Crossing the kitchen, she studies me critically, like she’s trying to find what’s wrong with me. But all the wounds are internal. “You want something to eat?” she asks finally.

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