Page 60 of Maybe We Can Fake It

“I’m making dinner,” I tell him. “Brenden will be home soon.”

“But why?” he asks, and I purposefully step on his foot.

I assume Grant is following us, so without considering the ramifications of this, I explain as quickly and quietly as I can, “You need to pretend I’m dating Brenden, okay?”

“But—”

“Is this a normal thing around here, for people to come into other people’s homes uninvited?” Grant asks. My gaze swings to where he’s leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

“The front’s always unlocked!” Mitch exclaims, clearly winding himself up again. But at least this takes his focus off me and why I’m here cooking dinner. “People are friendly around here! Unlike wherever it isyoucame from.”

Grant’s face pinches up so much he looks constipated.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, hoping to pacify them both. “Grant, this is Mitch. He’s a friend of Brenden’s, and I’m sure Brenden wouldn’t mind him coming in to borrow something. Mitch, this is May’s grandfather. He and her grandmother are here visiting.”

Mitch and Grant continue to eye each other distastefully. The differences between the men are highlighted by their clothing choices. While Grant is wearing slacks on his vacation, Mitch is sporting cutoff jean shorts and a T-shirt with a semi-vulgar beer advertisement.

“You said you needed sugar?” I ask Mitch, breaking the silence when it’s obvious the two of them aren’t going to exchange pleasantries.

“That’s right,” he tells me. “Half a cup will do.”

I turn to get it for him. If he was after any other ingredient, I’d be doubtful about finding it in Brenden’s kitchen, but sugar, I know he has an abundance of. There’s a small ceramic jar shaped like a snail beside the coffee maker, and he keeps more in a cabinet. What he doesn’t have, however, is a measuring cup (not a surprise), so I find a suitable Tupperware container for Mitch and eyeball the amount I pour.

“Thanks, man,” he says when I hand it to him. Then his forehead scrunches up like he’s thinking hard, and he adds, “I mean, thanks,Brenden’s boyfriend.”

Holy fuck, I’m so ready for this day to end.

Luckily, Grant already thinks Mitch is a weirdo and doesn’t look too confused by the ridiculous line. Still, I usher Mitch out of the kitchen before he can open his mouth again. Grant steps aside to let us through the doorway, and thankfully, he doesn’t follow as I keep ushering Mitch all the way out the front door and onto the porch.

“Yo, what’s the rush?” he gripes out as he stumbles. “I pretended good, didn’t I?”

I close the door behind us a little too forcefully, then hiss at him, “Please tell me you’ll keep quiet about this.”

The last thing Brenden needs is for the entire town to hear about how I’m pretending to be his boyfriend, because then some idiot will end up blowing his cover in front of Elise and Grant.

And the last thingIneed is for my dad to find out about this and start wondering if I’m actually... well, what I am.

“And what is it exactly that I’m supposed to be keeping quiet about?” Mitch asks. “Why the heck does that boring man think you’re Brenden’s boyfriend? You don’t like dick.” He gives me a frighteningly calculating look before adding, “Ordoyou?”

Jesus, these people.Does nobody have tact anymore?

“It’s a long story,” I tell him. “You can ask Brenden to explain it to you after May’s grandparents leave.”

I probably should have reaffirmed his belief that I’m straight, instead of ignoring that last question. But even though my heart’s racing at the possibility of being found out, I don’t think I have it in me to flat out lie about my sexuality.

Maybe a couple weeks ago, I could have. But now saying I’m not into men would be like saying what me and Brenden have done together wasn’t real. The dating may be fake, but the attraction and orgasms are all too real.

Mitch looks like he wants to pry some more, and if he does, I might fold like a house of cards. Because at this point, my feelings for Brenden are almost overriding my common sense. But mercifully, right then, Elise and May appear from around the side of the house.

“Hey, Mitch,” May greets him as she climbs the porch steps. “How’s Delilah?”

Mitch lights up. “She’s doing great! I think she was just going through a bit of a teenage angst phase, but she’s back to herself now.”

“That’s good, I’m glad,” May says, like the sweet girl she is. Acting like this man and his damn chicken are perfectly normal.

“Okay, I’ll be out of everyone’s hair,” Mitch tells us. He waves the container of sugar in front of himself. “Just needed to borrow something, andBrenden’s boyfriendhere was nice enough to get it for me.”

I almost groan but manage to hold it in. The way he calls me Brenden’s boyfriend is so exaggerated again that he might as well have winked at me. And does he not understand the concept of borrowing something? I don’t think he intends to bring the sugar back. But I’m not going to point that out to him, because I just need him gone.

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