Page 172 of Lovers' Dance

Bri chewed her lower lip, eyes peering worriedly at me. In the three years my dance company had been running, Dante and I always went AWOL on the fifteenth of October. No one knew why, and they were too polite to ask. When the stupid media had found out about my relationship with Matt, my business—my painful business had been splashed across the papers and the Internet. Their deaths were no longer my private pain. Now everyone I worked with knew what the fifteenth of October meant to me.

I turned away from them to grab my discarded face towel at the edge of the stage. I could get through it. I would get through it. But it felt like being on a merry-go-round. There was no way to get off the ride, even when you felt sick from too much cotton candy and soda pop, even when you screamed at the operator to please stop. My life felt like a merry-go-round.

Eddie and Bri said their good nights and, with pitying backward glances at me, they walked off the stage.

“Want to free style, sweet cheeks?” Dante asked quietly.

I shrugged, cracking open my half-drunk bottle of water and taking a few sips. I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten today. Ah well.

“Sure, D. Whatever you want to do, I’m game,” I replied. My mouth widened by reflex, the little fake smile I’d been wearing most of the day back in place.

“What time do you want to go?” he asked softly.

I shrugged. “I don’t care.”

He nodded, the pity on his face was so raw I had to turn away. We fell silent for a few minutes, then Dante came up behind me and rested his hands over my aching shoulders, slowly working the knots out.

“It’s one day, sweet cheeks. One day of the year that’ll be over before you know it.”

“It was over before I knew it,” I mumbled back. “It was…so quick, but it felt like, like forever. I remember her, Dante. I remember her calling to me. Everyone said, they all told me that they died instantly, that they didn’t suffer.” My throat closed up, but I forced the words out. “But I knew the truth. They didn’t die instantly. I heard her call out to me, and I couldn’t get to her. Daddy was—I couldn’t get to them. I couldn’t save them.” My voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper.

Dante spun me around and held me close. “You were six, Madison DuMont. It wasn’t your fault. Goddamn it, Madi.” His voice got gruff with pain, pain for me. “When are you gonna get it through that thick skull of yours? It wasn’t your fault. You were a child. What the fuck could you do? Huh?”

“Save them,” I whispered into his chest and he hugged me tighter. We stood like that for a long while until my cell peeled out in the silent auditorium. Normally it was on silent, but Matt had made me put the ringer on. I knew it was probably him, either him or my aunt. The only other person who would call me at this time of night was holding me in his arms.

With a tired sigh I pulled away and limped over to the edge of the stage to get my cell.

“Hey,” I said in greeting.

“Madi, you’re still at the studio.” Matt got straight to the point.

“How do you know that?” I asked in surprise.

“I called Daniel to check if he dropped you home, and he advised me he was out front of your premises,” Matt replied in a carefully bland voice. He obviously didn’t want me to hear in his tone how he felt at the moment.

“I told him he could leave hours ago, Matt. I didn’t expect him to hang around for this length of time,” I said in a voice as empty as his.

“He’s left now, and I’m on my way there to pick you up. I should arrive in twenty minutes.”

“Matt—”

“Twenty minutes, poppet. I’ll see you soon. Bye.” He ended the call.

“You okay, sweet cheeks?” Dante asked as I stared at the cell in my hand. I nodded slowly, too tired to care about Matt’s domineering behaviour. Too tired to care about anything.

“Matt’s on his way here. Guess we won’t be staying late after all. Can you get the stage lights? I—I’m going to change into my sneakers, then wait out front to let him in. I’ll check the back locks and windows first though.”

With sadness etched on his handsome features, Dante nodded in agreement. “Okay, sweet cheeks.”

I walked off the stage feeling numb. I liked the numbness, it made everything easier to deal with. I wandered around my building, going through the motions as I checked the back entrance and made sure the windows were secured. By the time I walked to the front entrance, Matt was impatiently knocking on the glass door.

“You look terrible,” were the first words out his mouth when he strode in, closing the door behind him.

“Gee, thanks, hon,” I muttered with my fake smile in place. “Every woman wants to hear that from her boyfriend.”

Matt frowned at me as he pulled me into his arms. His clothes were cold from the late night air, but his body heat seeped through, mingling with mine. “It’s the truth, poppet. You look exhausted. Did you not get much sleep last night?”

I shook my head against his chest, allowing myself a moment of comfort, a moment of peace. It was scary. Being in his arms brought me peace.

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