Page 185 of Lovers' Dance

Matt shook his head in disbelief. “Until next year, right? Until your next birthday and then you’ll do the same thing all over again. Does that sound ‘okay’ to you? Does that sound like something someone who is ‘fine’ would do?”

My skin felt itchy, uncomfortable. I jerked my head from his grasp and tried to push him away. I needed space, but he didn’t budge an inch.

“It’s nothing, Matt. Can we drop this? Please?” The itchiness was spreading, my head felt itchy, inside my head felt itchy. I didn’t want to talk about it. I was over it.

Being next to him made me claustrophobic. I tried to slide away this time, manoeuvring my legs upwards in an attempt to escape. That didn’t work either on account of him grabbing me around the waist.

“Can you let me go?” I said harshly. Matt gave me surprised eyes. I blinked a few times. I hadn’t meant to shout like that. He was making me uncomfortable with all this talk, making me remember that it was only yesterday that…

“Of course,” he murmured, releasing his hold on me and sitting back on his legs.

“I didn’t mean to shout,” I began. “I’m fine.”

Silence rolled between us. I stared at my clasped hands. Why was he pushing this?

“Do you love me, poppet?”

My gaze snapped up. “Of course, I do. You know I do.”

“Prove it,” he stated coolly. “I want you to prove it. I’ve proven to you, time and time again, exactly how much I love you. Now it’s your turn. If you love me the way you profess to love me, then I want you to speak to someone about this seemingly destructive cycle you’ve found yourself in. And by ‘someone’, I’m referring to a person with the necessary medical qualifications who can actually help you.”

I stared at him for a second. “That’s—I love you, Matt. I don’t have to prove how I feel about you. I always say it.”

“Actions speak louder than words, poppet.” He snorted. “And this is what I want you to do for me.”

I was starting to get angry. This was bullshit. “That’s emotional blackmail.”

“Then you should be used to it,” he said gently. “Because that’s what you’ve been doing to yourself.” He got off the floor and sat next to me on the bed, reaching for my hand. I clasped my hands tighter together so he couldn’t get one. Matt sighed.

“That’s not fair, Matt,” I whispered. “I’m fine and you’re making a big deal out of nothing. I’m not that crazy. Why are you acting like this?”

He sighed again.

“What if I don’t do this? What then?” I challenged. “What if I say no to your demands?”

Matt raised a hand to my jaw and tilted my head until our eyes met. “Then we’ll both know that I mean nothing to you; that all of this, that our relationship, means nothing to you. If you say no, then you’ll be proving that the love you say you have for me is worthless, because I haven’t asked one thing of you, Madi, not really. But I’m asking you to do this. For me. For us. I won’t stand by and watch you put yourself through this again, that I won’t do. Prove to me you love me, Madison.”

“That’s not fair, Matt,” I argued, feeling moisture seeping into my eyes.Goddamned bastard was not going to make me cry.

“Life isn’t fair, poppet. You of all people should know that,” he replied blandly, but the emotions in his eyes were too raw for me to maintain our gaze.

Talk about an ultimatum. I wasn’t just a crazy girlfriend. I was a crazy girlfriend whose boyfriend thought she needed professional help.

“What’s your answer?” he pressed.

“Give me a minute,” I snapped, jumping to my feet. “You’re basically calling me bat-shit crazy. I mean, I know I act silly sometimes but I’m not insane. You’re implying there’s something wrong with me. There isn’t. I just have my own way of dealing with things.”

“What’s your answer?” His tone had lowered.

“It’s insulting when you come to think of it. Saying a person needs to see a shrink when they don’t. I’m fine, Matt.”

“I need an answer from you,” he said. Like a freaking heartless robot. Why was he doing this to me?

“It’s not going to change anything. This is ridiculous—”

Matt stood up quickly, so quickly I almost got a face-full of chest. “No, Madison. Ridiculous is you being an emotional wreck yesterday and happy as a lark today.” He gripped me by the shoulders and shook me slightly. “That’s not normal. Not by a long shot. I love you, and I promise you won’t have to do this alone, but goddamn it…if you don’t do this…I’m asking you, poppet. Will you do this for me?”

I was holding my breath, and I didn’t realize it until my lungs burned from lack of oxygen. When I thought about, he was kind of right. I mean what had he asked of me? To attend family dinners and charity balls? To not get stressed over the stupid media? To let him shower me with expensive trips and gifts? To let him love me the way he wanted to?

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