I chewed my lower lip, knowing it was really her who wanted confirmation. “Not this year, Aunt Cleo. I have so much on at the moment and this new production is fuc-”
Her sharp intake of breath stopped the expletive from slipping out.
“Um, I can’t.” There. No swear words. What I wanted to say was the latest production was fucking hard work. If we wanted another chance at piquing the interest of the Royal Ballet it would need to be perfect. It wasn’t perfect, not yet. And this time I wouldn’t have Grumps’s meddling to open doors for me. It didn’t matter. However my foot had gotten in the door, it was staying there. I just needed this new production to be perfect.
“When will we see you then?” she asked, and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought there was fearful uncertainty in her voice. “I know you won’t be coming for Christmas,” Her words hung down the line, as if she was hoping I would say ‘actually, I’ll be homefor Christmas’.
“Maybe sometime next year.” I replied, staring listlessly at the t.v and stirring my soup. “I can’t say for sure. Things are hectic.”
We fell silent again.
“Aunt Cleo?” I tentatively broke the silence. “Do you think they would be proud of me?”
“Yes,” Came her immediate answer. “Of course they would. Don’t even doubt that.”
“But how can you be certain?” I fussed. “I’ve done things, things you don’t know about-”
“Madison,” she cut me off, calm and firm. “Iknowthey would be proud of you because I’m proud of you. Is this about that no good husband of yours? Has he done something to you? Said something? Why won’t you tell me the truth about it? I just don’t understand. Has he done something to you? Did he hurt you? God as my witness, if he put his hands on you I’ll come over there.”
“No, no, he hasn’t.” An unladylike snort followed my words. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me. Look, this isn’t about him. Why did you hate her? Why did you hate my mother so much?”
Aunt Cleo said nothing for a few seconds, then she sighed. “I didn’t hate her.” Another weary sigh whispered down the connection between us. “Or maybe I did. Your mother and I were never going to be friends, sweetie. I didn’t think she was a good fit for your daddy. Lord help me. I remember the day he came home with the biggest smile on his face, yakking on about this English girl he met at Madison Square Gardens.” She chuckled softly. “That’s why he named you Madison, you know. He met her there.”
My mouth parted in surprise, and delight. Who knew the nickname my friends had labelled me with was in fact the right reason for my name.
“I’ll be honest,” Aunt Cleo continued. “When we first met she rubbed me the wrong way. Her mannerisms, like she thought she was too good for us and she wasn’t God-fearing like your daddy and I had been raised. I was only twenty when my mother passed, and then Daddy went a few months after. I think he died of a broken heart. He just,” Aunt Cleo inhaled, so deeply I heard it as if she was sat right next to me. “Well, it was just me and Reginald. My little brother Reggie. Oh Madi, he was such a gentle man and even though he was only two years younger than me, it became my responsibility to seehim right. That’s what we do, we take care of our family.”
I stayed quiet, listening intently. She never truly spoke about my parents with me, not like this. Perhaps it was because of today’s date. The anniversary of their deaths. I hadn’t once wondered how this day affected my aunt. She had lost a loved one too.
Clearing her throat she said emptily, “He didn’t listen to me when I voiced my concerns, and the more I tried, the harder he stuck his heels in. He always listened to me, but with her, when it came to Elizabeth there was nothing I could say to make him change his mind. I suppose that hurt me more than I ever admitted. It felt like he had picked her over me, over family, and I-” Her words came to an abrupt end.
I chewed the insides of my mouth in discomfort. Was this why she’d flipped out when I had chosen to be with Matt? She must have felt it was the same betrayal all over again, just like with my dad.
“Aunt Cleo,” I said quietly. “No one could ever replace you in my life, and I’m sure Daddy thought the same.”
A tiny sniff came from her side, then another. “I know that now, I think I tried to hold on too tight, to both you and your daddy.”
The word ‘suffocated’ came to mind, but I wisely refrained from saying it. Instead I sought confirmation of the rift between my parents and my aunt. “And that’s why you hated her? Because you felt she came between you and Dad?”
“In the beginning, yes,” Aunt Cleo made an uncomfortable sound then cleared her throat. “There are things which happened, I don’t want to go into them. I don’t think it’s right to-”
“Tell me.” I interrupted with a terse command. “I want to know everything.”
“Madi,”
“I want to know, Aunt Cleo. I need to know, to understand why. When I was little, sometimes I would see you looking at me and all I could feel was resentment, as if you hated me too.”
Aunt Cleo hissed before saying, “I could never hate you. You’re all that’s left of him, and I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way. But some things you don’t need to know. I don’t want it to change how you think of them, of her.”
“Tell me.” I insisted. After her last cryptic comment, there was no way I would leave it alone.
She said nothing for a while, then sighed before dropping fourwords that made my stomach clench. “She cheated on him.”
Four little words that yanked the axis of my world and had me feeling like a lost child. Then a terrible thought formed in my head. Perhaps it was the true reason Aunt Cleo resented me.
“Oh,” I whispered. “Am I – was he not my -” The words got stuck in my throat, I couldn’t say what I really wanted to, I was scared. I phrased it differently to delay my potential freak out over the answer. “Are you not my real aunt?”
“What?” she shrieked. It was a full-blown, ear-piercing shriek. “Have you lost your mind? Of course, I’m your aunt! We have the same nose – look, you’re a DuMont, you hear me? Reginald and Elizabeth DuMont were your parents and that’s the honest truth.” She huffed under her breath, muttering something too low for me to clearly hear before speaking up. “You were almost three when Reggie confided in me. I was furious, demanded he leave her and move back to the States with you. I was so mad because she had hurt him and I wasn’t there to protect him, to stop it. Oh, I wanted to beat her scrawny behind into the ground.”