Page 84 of Lovers' Dance: Vol. 2

“Do you hate me now?” I asked softly, dreading his answer. I twisted over to flick on the bedside lamp then turned back on my side to face him. Matt was lying on his back. At first glance you would think he was asleep but I knew he wasn’t. A few minutes passed before he turned his head in my direction and opened his eyes.

“Don’t be silly.” he murmured then he turned the rest of his body in my direction.

There was still space between us, space and the duvet, at least we were maintaining eye contact. That in itself was upsetting. The sadness pouring out from the depths of his eyes felt akin to a blade through my heart. I had caused that look, that pain. A selfish witch. Yes, it seemed those traits dwelled within me, but I couldn’t agree to something I didn’t want, probably would never want.

“I didn’t know, Matt,” My voice was thick with unshed tears. He was hurting and it was my fault. “You didn’t tell me you wanted kids.”

That bitter smile of his made an appearance, causing the blade in my heart to twist painfully.

“No, I didn’t,” he confirmed. “Things progressed so quickly between us and I assumed you would also want these things. A mistake on my part.”

Damn. He really had a knack for instilling guilt in me.

I blinked slowly, longing to touch him but holding back. “Maybe we should have talked about these things before getting married. I mean…this is a big problem, isn’t it?”

Matt rubbed the back of his neck, he lowered his lashes for a second and shielded the emotions in his eyes. When he returned his stare to me it was unreadable, as was his reply. “Maybe we should have.”

“Did we make a mistake?” I asked in a shaky voice.

He didn’t answer immediately and his gaze slipped away from mine once more. As the seconds dragged by I almost choked on asharp intake of breath. Matt’s eyes snapped up, searching my features. Whatever he saw had him reaching out to cup my cheek with one hand.

“Poppet,” He rubbed his thumb across my skin. “Don’t ever think that.”

A relieved sigh left my lips as I tilted my head into his hand. I was his ‘poppet’ again.

“But what are we going to do about it?” I asked, unable to leave it alone.

How were we going to address this problem? I didn’t want our contrasting desires to breed resentment. Someone should have warned me marriage was such hard work.

He managed a fleeting smile. “We’ll figure something out.” Matt’s hand left my cheek and he fixed the duvet around his waist. The restless way he kept smoothing it over let me know he was quite upset. Matt didn’t fidget, he was always so sure of himself. He let out a frustrated grunt and shoved the duvet off before turning on his side and giving me his back.

I shuffled over until I was able to press my body against his. My lips found the curve of his broad shoulder and I trailed soft kisses across his flesh. Matt stiffened, it was so unexpected that I stopped immediately.

“I’m tired. Let’s just go to sleep.” He twisted sideways to smile briefly at me.

“Ok, goodnight.” I murmured while trying to keep the disappointment off my face.

I only wanted to physically express my love for him, to show how much I needed him. He turned away and I returned to my side of the bed to turn off the bedside lamp. The space between us felt even wider now. The darkness a necessary cover to hide my confusion. What just happened? There had been a pause…when I asked Matt if we’d made a mistake, there had been a pause before he spoke. I drew my knees up, it wasn’t a complete foetal position; close though, very close. Was Matt asleep already? We still hadn’t resolved the problem. I turned onto my back, then twisted over to my side, then laid on my back again; freezing into stillness only when I felt Matt shuffling around. The bedside light came on, this time it was his side. Matt sat up and I turned towards him.

“On second thought, I’m not that tired after all.” He crooked afinger at me. “Come here.”

I didn’t need telling twice and moments later we were shedding our respective sleepwear in-between fervent kisses. Quick. Explosive. Almost frantic.

“I love you.” I kept muttering over and over as we tried to sex our problems away.

We dozed off, sated and wrapped around each other. The last thing on my mind before sleep claimed me completely was the fact Matt didn’t climax deep inside me. Instead he had pulled out and made the sheets very messy. That wasn’t common for us. Had he done it deliberately? I would ask him about it tomorrow…

CHAPTER 10

“Can you zipme up?” I turned around expectantly.

Matt was perusing his drawer full of cufflinks and watches but immediately came over as per my request.

“Weren’t you going to wear the other dress?” he asked absent-mindedly as he zipped me up then returned to the drawer.

“Don’t you like this one?” I peered at my reflection in the mirror. I looked hot. Classy hot. The emerald dress was a divine Elie Saab creation, with pockets in the full skirt to fit my cell, face powder and lip gloss. No need for me to take a cumbersome clutch. Yay!

“You look lovely.” Matt replied as I ran my hands over the lines of my dress, turning from side to side.

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