Page 37 of Mostly Shattered

“Of course.” He nods once. “We can meet again tomorrow.”

Everything about him is stiff and formal, from his posture to his gestures. It’s not just the vampirism. He was born into the aristocracy—and not the modern-day kind. We have class differences today, but not like his era. Costin is from a time when feudal lords ruled with armies and lived in castles. They took what they wanted openly, and no one denied them.

I see those traits in him in the way he looks at me, his jaw slightly lifted, and his eyes pointed downward. He has a domineering quality to him. The swirl in his gaze hints at his blood hunger.

I’m drawn closer. There is a deepness inside of him, a dark vortex of loneliness. I feel it radiating into me. Centuries reside there, time ticking by in an endless procession. The graves fall away, as do the shadows surrounding us. The ground trembles softly against my feet like the ground releases a shaky breath.

I’ve known him my entire life, and yet I feel as if this is the first time I really see him. Dark lashes and smooth skin, pale from living in moonlight. His lips are stained red from tasting my blood. I’ve alwaystold myself that vampires smell like ash and death, and some do, but not him. He smells of nature like the wind blew through him and left behind traces of evergreen and flowers. I feel that wind now, tickling my back and traveling over my skin.

I’m drawn into that vortex, wanting to warm it, wanting to crawl inside to bring the sun into his darkness. But he can’t have the sun.

There is an ache that fills me, stopping just short of pain. The need is too strong to resist. My entire body vibrates and heats. I hear my heart beating louder and faster. I lean forward, and my eyelids feel heavy.

Someone whispers in my ear, but I can’t decipher what they’re saying.

Costin’s face is the only thing I see. His skin seems to shimmer and blur, and he’s so beautiful. I want to touch him.

No. Ineedto touch him.

“Costin,” I whisper, feeling my grip on the book and amulet loosening so I can reach for him. My eyes fixate on his mouth, to the hint of parted fangs.

“That is what being mesmerized feels like,” he answers.

Instantly, the fog goes away, and I’m left disorientated. The sounds of traffic blare into the silence, and I stumbleon pitted concrete.

The cemetery is gone, replaced by a dank alley. The smell of nature instantly becomes the unmistakable stench of garbage wafting out of a nearby dumpster. I can no longer feel the vortex inside of Costin’s chest, but the ache that came with it still lingers. The vibrations and heat leave me with an intense sexual arousal. The knowledge of it repulses me.

Correction. The knowledge of it should repulse me. To my everlasting shame, it does not.

“Where are we?” I demand, not recognizing the location.

His eyes are swirling with red. I can’t tell if it’s hunger or excitement. “A block from your home. I thought it best to at least escort you this far. You never know what kind of monsters you’ll run into in the middle of the night. A lone human should take precautions.”

I’m not sure what annoys me more. His advice or the superior way he says it. Between the two of us, I think I’m more equipped to know the danger of being a human in this world. It’s the one lesson I have been told since I was old enough to understand that there really are monsters that like to crawl under your bed and hide in your closet.

“Go home, little castoff. Read the book. I will meet you back at the mausoleum at dusk.”

And with that, he leaves, disappearing from thealley as if he had never been there. I collapse against a brick wall. Now that I’m alone, I allow myself to gasp for breath. What the fuck was that?

I have never taken ecstasy but imagine this is what it would feel like. My nerves are hyper-aware, sending ripples through my body with every brush against my skin. My temperature is out of whack and too high. My hormones are crashing inside of me. I want to grab the closest man and kiss him.

No. Another correction. I want to call Costin back to finish what he started inside of me.

However, I have to give him credit for one thing. He was telling the truth. If this is what being mesmerized by a vampire feels like, he did not enthrall me before now.

I forced myself to push away from the wall and stumble toward the sound of traffic. Lights flash, letting me know that I’m heading in the right direction. I come out by a busy city street, instantly recognizing where I am. I tightly grip the book and amulet, tuck my head down, and hasten home.

I don’t make eye contact with those on the street. I’m afraid if they look at me, they’ll see my heightened state. No matter how hard I try, I can’t walk in a straight line. My knees are weak, and I stumble as if I’m drunk.

If the expression on the doorman’s face is anyindication, I look like I’m drunk, too. He’s unable to hide the smirk when he sees me.

The man waits for me to approach. He looks uncomfortable and fidgety in his well-fitted navy uniform, crisp white shirt, and tie. A brass name badge and white gloves complete the ensemble.

“Miss Devine,” he greets. I know he’s told me before, but I can’t place his name at the moment, and I can’t focus my eyes long enough to read what’s on his nametag. He holds the door open, and he stands inappropriately close when I move past. If I’m not mistaken, he inhales deeply, as if trying to smell my hair. I do my best to ignore it. Normally, the doormen are overly professional with polished manners. This one has a coarseness to him. He’s not going to last long in this building.

Thankfully, the ecstasy effect is wearing off. The last thing I need is to get caught making out with the doorman in front of my parents’ penthouse.

Keeping my head down, I rush to the elevator. My sneakers on marble sound abnormally loud, drawing attention. As the doors close, I press into a corner and stare at my distorted reflection on the shiny gold wall. My heart begins to slow, and I concentrate on regaining control of my senses. The elevator moves, and I watch the numbers count upward. Tension fills me in those seconds between each floor as I hope no one stopsmy ascent.

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