Page 13 of Nearly Dead

I’m hyper-aware of Costin sitting next to me.His presence is both comforting and infuriating at the same time.The sire bond pulses between us like an unwanted heartbeat, making it hard to think clearly when he’s so close.I’m not sure if I want to feed on him or screw him.

I force my eyes away from him.

“I didn’t tame Draakmar,” I manage.It’s a lie.“We came to an understanding.”

“Semantics,” Sully dismisses with a wave.“The point is you represent power.And right now, the pack needs power.”

I want to tell him I don’t know what I am.I might not be a wolf.Or a vampire.Or I might be both.Or I might be some kind of new monster that can’t be controlled.I feel insanity whispering at the edge of my thoughts.Ironically, it sounds like the late Conrad.It figures my brain would choose that voice to torment me.He represents every insecurity I have—my mortal inner child raised in a supernatural family, my love for a brother who betrayed me, my best friend who tried to frame me for murder and kill me.

“Sully, I appreciate you coming here and the offer, but I’m still figuring out how to not kill people when I get hungry.I can’t lead the pack.Please tell the others I decline.”

“It may not be that simple.”Sully glances at Costin as if worried by what the vampire might do.“You will be expected to try for the position.If you don’t, the new Alpha will always be doubted.A clear path is the best.”

My knowledge of werewolf culture isn’t strong.Most are horror stories ending in disaster.I know they’re feral beasts.What I saw of their territory gave me outlaw biker gang vibes.Sure, I know I’ve been through a lot.I’ve proven that I am strong, can stand supernatural trials, and all that self-empowered whatever.But mostly I’m tired.I just want to be invisible to the supernatural world again.I want to crawl back into my gilded cage that was the protected wing of my family’s country estate.I want to watch the supernatural world from the safety of my balcony.

I spent so many years pushing at those bars wishing to be free.I touch my neck, not finding my amulet.

Ego sum avis stultus.

I’m a stupid bird.

I look to Costin, who has been surprisingly quiet this whole time.“Tell him I can’t do this.”

Costin’s face is carefully neutral.“It’s not my place to tell werewolves what to do.Our treaties do not give vampires the authority to dictate terms over such things.This is their internal matter.”

“Then if I’m vampiric, I can’t have a say,” I reason.

Sully’s eyes gleam.“You are also a wolf, so it does concern you, whether you want it to or not.The full moon is in two weeks and, by tradition, that’s when a new Alpha must be named.Any longer, and other packs will sense our discord.You do not want them coming to solve our problems.”

“Why?”The second I ask, I regret it.

“Because it is easier to exterminate a problem than to try to absorb orphan wolves into another pack,” Sully answers.

“Tamara is not entering the competition,” Costin says.“You asked, she refused.She doesn’t want to be Alpha.That should be enough for the others.”

“Good,” Sully answers, “because if she did want it, I would have to challenge any claim she might make.”He leans forward, his massive frame filling the chair and causing it to creak under his weight.“I was Thane’s right hand.I am the strongest wolf.I should be Alpha.”

“I’ll back whoever keeps the peace,” I say firmly.

Sully stands to tower over us, and I feel something stir inside.The wolf part of me responds to the natural challenge of his stance.“Peace is a luxury we can’t afford right now.Elizabeth is still out there spreading her lies about what happened.The magic she tried to harness is unstable.The supernatural world is changing, and werewolves won’t be left behind again.”

“What does that mean?”I ask, not liking the edge in his voice.

“It means,” Sully’s eyes flash gold, “that whether you accept the role or not, you’re part of this now.Thane’s blood made sure of that.You’ll be expected to make an appearance when the time comes.”

“I didn’t ask for his blood.”I stand but it does little good.I feel small next to him.My skin itches and I feel my emotions churning as they heat my blood.My grip on sanity is slipping.

He smirks as if I amuse him.“No one asks to be bitten.There is no middle ground anymore, Devine.Not for creatures like us.”

The way he says “creatures like us” sends a chill through me.

“I need time to think,” I step back, trying to deescalate my unintentional challenge.

“Two weeks,” he reminds me.“You’ll feel the call.”

That timeline doesn’t feel right.

“You’ve said what you came to say.”Costin’s voice drops to that dangerous tone that sends an involuntary shiver down my spine.I hate how my body reacts to him, especially now these new senses pick up every nuance of his scent, and every subtle shift in his posture as he moves protectively closer to me.

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