Page 15 of Nearly Dead

When I open my eyes Costin is standing in front of me with a goblet.I instantly smell the blood, and my senses focus in on it.I don’t think as I grab it and pull it to my mouth.The liquid slides past my tongue, as I gulp so fast I don’t taste it.

A drop escapes the corner of my mouth.Before I can wipe it away, Costin’s thumb is there, swiping the blood.Our eyes lock as he brings his thumb to his own lips.The gesture is so intimate that heat floods through me, momentarily drowning out the hunger with a more desperate kind of need.

“Careful,” he whispers, his voice low enough that only supernatural hearing could catch it.“Drink too fast and you’ll make yourself sick.”

I want to tell him I’m already sick.Anger and confusion swirl inside my brain.My hands tremble from the unwanted connection that makes me want to simultaneously throw myself into his arms and rip his throat out.

I lick my lips, watching his eyes track the movement.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I say.

“Like what?”He doesn’t pull away.

“Like nothing has changed between us.Like I’m the same.Like this is normal.”

Costin holds still for a long time, and I try to imagine all the things he’s not saying.Is it guilt keeping him next to me?Pity?Does he still think he loves me?Has he admitted to himself that I’m a monster?

“Anthony and I will speak to Davis and Mortimer on your behalf.”Costin takes a step back.“They’re worried about the council.”

“The menfolk to the rescue,” I drawl.It would be laughable if it wasn’t so awful.

“Do you really want to deal with them on your own?”he asks.

I sigh, shaking my head.

“Your color is better.Tell a servant to bring you blood from my food supply if you feel the slightest bit hungry.Don’t let yourself get hungry.”He starts to reach for me but then threads his hands behind his back.“I’ll find you when we’re done.If you need me before then, I’ll know.”

I watch him leave and find myself alone in the library.

ChapterFour

Something’s wrong with the shadows.

I’ve been pacing Costin’s underground mansion for hours, trying to walk off the restless energy that surges through me.My senses are on overdrive.The blood he gave me has settled uncomfortably in my stomach, making me feel nauseous and full.I watch servants press against the walls every time they fall into my eyeline, trying to be invisible.One of them has fresh puncture marks on his neck.The sight makes me both sick and hungry.I can’t say I blame them for avoiding me.I don’t trust me either.

My eyes focus too closely on the floor, and I smell damp rocks, like moisture is seeping into the underground walls, but I can’t find the source.The search gives me purpose, and my mind becomes obsessed with finding the damp.

“What are you doing, Tam-tam?”Conrad’s voice whispers to torment me.I whip around, looking for him, but he’s not there.My shoulder joint pops.It’s only my mind playing tricks as insanity takes hold.

I don’t know when it happened, but I’ve stopped pacing and now find my body pretzeled on the floor sniffing the run of carpet like some kind of ghoul.

But none of that is what’s bothering me.

The shadows are moving wrong.

At first, I thought my new vision was playing tricks on me.Everything appears different, like the camera on my phone zooming in to create a sharper, clearer image with details my human eyes couldn’t see.This is something else.The shadows aren’t just dark spaces where light doesn’t reach.They’re shifting in ways they shouldn’t.

“Don’t be paranoid,” I mutter to myself, watching a particularly dark corner where two walls meet.The shadows seem to pulse, like they’re breathing.

I’m not being paranoid.I see movement.

I crawl slowly toward it, trying to make out shapes in the darkness.I’ve found the source of the smell.

My gaze meets the smaller eyes of a creature lurking in the dark.For a moment, neither of us moves.My breath catches in my throat, like something is pressing against my neck, preventing me from pulling air into my lungs in an attempt to weaken me.

I think of the story Lorelai told me about when I was a baby.Goblins had come to my crib and tried to steal my breath.The supernatural attacks were one of the reasons she gave me to my father and Astrid for protection, before disappearing from my life.

I take a step back, crawling backward as my new instincts scream danger.My shoulders pop as I straighten my spine, moving too slowly stand while focusing on the darkness.Tension rolls through me.

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