Page 4 of Nearly Dead

I don’t know what I am, but I’m clearly no longer human.There’s so much pain.My lungs are filled with glass shards, and my blood has been replaced with magma that should turn me to ash.

There is a reason monsters like me don’t exist.Vampires and werewolves don’t mingle in any capacity.They can barely stay in the same room together, let alone the same body.

My stomach clenches with a need so intense I curl into myself.It’s not just hunger.It’s starvation, desperation.And beneath the feeling is a thirst so raw it burns my throat.

I need to feed.

The thought comes unbidden in a voice that doesn’t quite sound like mine.Feed.Not eat.Not drink.

Feed.

The fire in my veins intensifies, and my back arches involuntarily.A howl builds in my chest, fighting to escape my parched lips.What the fuck is happening to me?

“Tamara.”

Costin’s voice cuts through the painful haze.I try to focus on it, to use it as an anchor, but it sounds wrong.It’s too loud, too textured like I can hear each vibration of his vocal cords in slow motion.

“Tamara, love, you need to stay calm.”

Stay calm?Is he kidding me?I want to laugh, but it comes out as a growl.An actual growl that vibrates through my chest and throat.

It feels good, so I do it again.Louder.

“The transition is difficult under the best circumstances,” he says, closer now.I can smell him.Gods, I can smell him.His scent is an intoxicating blend of blood and power.It calls to me on a level I don’t understand.

“What,” I rasp.“What did you do to me?”

I remember fragments.The ritual.Thane’s altar.Elizabeth’s betrayal.The werewolf bite burning through my system.Costin’s wrist at my mouth as everything went dark.

“I did what I had to,” he says.There’s an edge to his voice I’ve never heard before.Desperation?From Costin?“I saved your life.”

“I’m hungry.”The words scrape out of me.“So hungry.”

“I know.”His hand touches my forehead, cool against my burning skin.“You need blood.”

Blood.Yes.The word resonates through me like a thunderbolt.Blood.Feed.Blood.

A howl builds in my chest, and this time, I can’t suppress it.My spine tries to reshape itself, bones cracking and muscles tearing.

“You have to fight the wolf,” he urges.“Resist it, my love.Don’t let it out.”

“Hurts,” I grunt, my muscles going stiff as I arch back.

“You’re caught between transformations.”His voice is strained.“The werewolf venom is trying to trigger a shift, but the vampire blood is fighting to heal you instead.”

He should tell me something I don’t know.I have a front-row seat to this shitshow.The opposing powers war beneath my skin like primordial enemies.Something wild and feral tries to claw its way out while the vampire blood attempts to subdue it.My body wants to change, the bones pushing to crack and reshape, while the vampiric virus’ need to heal its host pulls me back.I stay human-shaped while my insides tear themselves apart.

“Resist, my love.”

I want to argue with him, but my contorting body won’t let me.

“Make it… stop,” I beg, hating how weak I sound.“Please, Costin, end it.”

I want him to end me.He should have let me die.I want to remind him of his promise not to let me turn into a monster.

“I’m sorry.I can’t.”He’s a master vampire who rules all the North American territories, and he sounds so helpless.“We don’t know what you are now.Or what you’ll become.”

My fingers dig into the sheets, tearing through them like paper.I feel my nails lengthening, hardening into something else.Claws.I have claws.

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