Page 45 of Nearly Dead

“Davis,” his name leaves my mother like a sigh of relief, and I imagine she’s glad not to be alone with a helpless baby.

“What happened?”Davis demands.I recognize that annoyed tone.

“Creatures were in her crib,” Lorelai says.“They were trying to do something to her mouth.”

My father sniffs the air and frowns.“Goblins.”

“They were making it so she couldn’t breathe,” Lorelai continues, her panic a stark contrast to my father.“I was in the rocking chair, and I woke up and?—”

“You fell asleep?”Davis says coldly, scanning the room.“After everything we discussed.”

“I didn’t fall asleep.I wasenchanted,” Lorelai snaps, holding her baby closer and bouncing in her agitation.I see the exhaustion etched on her face.“They were stealing her breath.”

“I detect necromancer magic,” my father says, not moving to comfort his lover.

“I can’t be alone here.You said you’d send someone.”She eyes the guards who stand still by the door, pretending not to hear.Her voice lowers, “Why can’t you move in with us?She’s your daughter, too.You said when I got pregnant that?—”

“Enough.”His voice cuts through the room like a blade.Louder than necessary, he says, “I’m not leaving my wife.That was never the deal.”

Lorelai shakes her head.“No.That’s not what you?—”

Astrid appears, her face tight.Unlike Lorelai, Astrid looks exactly the same.Time has not taken a toll on her features.

“As-Astrid,” Lorelai stutters.“I didn’t know you were here.”

Astrid arches a brow with a look that says,obviously.She looks around the cheap apartment and frowns.She crosses over to the window where I just now see the salt line drawn along the windowsill.Her tone cuts like ice.“The child is not safe with you, Lorelai.You can’t protect her here.”She swipes at the salt before dusting her fingers.“Not with these mortal charms.”

I’d heard that tone a thousand times.

My father’s voice is calm but firm.“Tamara will live with us.We can protect her.”

“She’s my daughter,” Lorelai whispers, pressing against the edge of the crib like it might anchor her to the child being taken from her.Her eyes burn.“She needs her mother.”

“She needs to survive,” Davis states.“You know who I am, Lorelai.You know why they want her.I can’t let them use her to control me.I won’t let a necromancer use her spirit to curry favor.”

“Her humanity makes her a liability,” Astrid’s tone softens slightly, patting Lorelai’s arm.“You can’t take care of her.We can.She’ll be given a life you…” She again looks around the apartment.The place would be beneath Astrid’s discernible tastes.“She’ll be protected.”

Lorelai breaks.I see the grief crashing over her as tears slip down her face.

“She’s just a baby, Davis, please,” Lorelai whispers.I feel her heartbreak as if it’s my own.

“She’ll never be just a baby,” Davis replies, more to himself than anyone.“She might be a mere mortal, but she’s Devine blood.That puts her in danger.”

“She’s perfect,” Lorelai breathes.“She’s mine.Don’t let her forget me.”

Astrid gently pries me from Lorelai’s grasp, and for a shaking moment, Lorelai doesn’t let go.

“You know that isn’t how this will work,” Astrid says.“At least not any time soon, but someday, when she’s old enough.”

The figures start to dissolve until only Lorelai remains.

I sense her pain at the loss, but beneath it, I feel a thread of relief.She’s glad it’s over, and that makes her feel guilty.

Life is complicated.

The silence in the memory is louder than screaming.Lorelai collapses beside the empty crib.“I’m sorry, little butterfly.”

I try to hold on, to stay in that moment to explore what it all means, but the memory slips through my fingers like smoke.

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