Page 48 of Cry, Little Dove

“A fucking miracle of modern medicine is what it is!” She taps the steering wheel in rhythm with the music. “Also, bonus cool points because I get to say mysterious stuff like ‘I have another person’s heart in my chest’.”

Her easygoing attitude makes the heavy topic easier to handle and I chuckle. “Thatispretty damn cool.”

“Heart failure in your early 20s makes you grow up fast. You re-evaluate lots of things, you know?” She shrugs. “Priorities, goals, relationships. Some folks with transplants live a long, healthy life. Others don’t. So when you never know how much time you have left, you spend it on the people and things that matter. I see that as a positive thing.”

My throat thickens with emotions, and I nod.

“I know it sounds weird, but I took everything for granted before I almost died,” she continues. “I was bored and didn’t appreciate everything I had. In a fucked-up way, my illness was a blessing in disguise. It made me brave. It made me love harder, give less shits, and live like every day is my last.”

“That makes total sense,” I answer quickly.

I’m fortunate I’ve never been as sick as Amanda, but I understand her on a different level.

Since Cain took me, I feel more alive than I ever have. The terror of getting kidnapped did something to me, shifted my entire mindset. Before Cain, all I felt was grey and numb. Now the world is lit up in neon colors, bathing me in their vibrant shine.

Everything is more intense, and I don’t just mean the sex.

The food tastes better. The air smells cleaner. My heart beats steadier. I laugh louder and fear less. I’m more honest with myself about what I need or want.

And being Cain’s prisoner made me realize one thing with ultimate certainty:

I don’t want to die anymore. For all the horrors I’ve been through at his hands, I’m grateful I never got around to using those sleeping pills. I havehimto thank for that. If Cain hadn’t kidnapped me, I would be six feet under.

How fucked up that a serial killer saved my life.

But his sister doesn’t know about Cain’s dark side. He told me so himself before I left and I see no point in trying to convince her. There is the matter of the fake medical files that would paint me as a delusional liar. And Amanda wouldn’t believe a woman she’s known for two hours over her brother, anyway.

We pull into a parking lot surrounded by lush greenery. It’s very different from the concrete jungles and malls I know.

“We’re here!” Amanda squeals.

“Aren’t we going shopping?”

“We are! But you didn’t think I was going to take you to a drab old mall, right? No, this is an experience, hon!” She waves her hands like she’s painting a rainbow. “It’s my favorite place to treat myself when I’m in the area. They haveeverything. From designer shops to affordable fashion, all packaged in a convenient, beautiful little village type of deal. It feels like a mini vacation!”

I look down at my ripped grey skinny jeans and the faux leather peeling off my old handbag. My face heats. I’m underdressed as fuck.

“Hope you’re ready to make good use of my brother’s credit card.” Amanda digs into her purse with the letters L and V pressed all over the cream-colored leather. She takes out a black credit card. “Cain said to make sure you spend at least 100k.”

My jaw drops so far, I worry it’s going to dislocate. “Excuse me?”

“Come to think of it, what I said just now would be a great test to figure out if you’re after Cain’s money.” She puts the card back and pulls out a pocket mirror and a tube of pink lip gloss. “But you don’t seem the gold digger type and I’m like, thebestjudge of character.”

My giggle is several pitches too high. I sound like a squeaking mouse. “Ha. Okay that bit about the 100k was very funny. You got me there.”

She smacks her lips and fluffs up her hair with a small brush before stuffing everything into the bag again. Her perfectly arched brows curve.

“I wasn’t joking. My brother is going to give me a hard time if I don’t stick to his instructions and he’s super annoying when he goes on one of his rants. He said he knows you won’t accept the card if he gives it to you directly and he made me the messenger. Don’t shoot me.” She laughs, putting her hands up.

Emotions slam into me. I can’t untangle the web of anger, surprise, annoyance, and something… warmer, hot and balmy behind my ribs.

Does Cain think he canbuymy compliance?Payfor my affection? The concert and the smaller gifts are one thing, but this… this is too much.

My pulse quickens.

Or is it really too much?

I’ve always lived tiny paycheck to tiny paycheck and never owned nice things. If I have to play along for the sake of my safety anyway… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to enjoy myself for one afternoon?

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