She doesn’t have to say this. She doesn’t have to care about my dreams or my feelings. But she does. Honest to God, Erica cares, and I’m not sure I deserve it.
“You’re right, I guess,” I admit.
Her head tilts. “Eh, then again, who am I to say? I don’t expect you to change your whole life on a dime because of my speech, but you could think about it?”
“Yeah, I will.” I reach over, giving her thigh an affectionate squeeze. “Thank you.”
She hums and I tilt my head back. The trees tower above us, watching over the land like silent guardians, standing witness to the past and the present. For the first time, I wonder if there is a happy future waiting for me in their shade and maybe, they can already see it.
We ride around a sharp bend in the river, and a hill comes into view. An ancient oak crowns the peak, knotty limbs reaching for the bright blue sky. It’s grown even bigger since I was a kid, and I grin as I address Erica.
“How ‘bout a break? I wanna show you something, little dove.”
Erica squints at the oak’s trunk, bracing herself on her knees. “Calamity Cain?” She bites her lip, trying not to laugh while she runs a finger over the jagged letters carved into the bark.
I put my hands on my hips. “Go on. Laugh at a lil boy’s dream of being a wild west hero. I blame my dad for watching westerns every Sunday night after dinner.”
“No, it’s adorable.” Her eyes glitter as they shift to me. She smirks. “But I’m calling absolute bullshit on the hero bit. You definitely wanted to be the villain.”
“Being a hero is overrated, darlin’. The good guy always sacrifices everyone he loves to save a world full of ungrateful cretins. How predictable and lame. But the villain…” I grab her wrist and she squirms playfully as my other arm winds around her waist. “The villaintakeswhat he wants and he protects what’s his, no matter the cost.” I kiss her and she laughs into my mouth, her fists softly battering my chest.
“You’re a villain alright,” she says, too much gentleness in her voice to make the insult sting.
“And you wouldn’t have it any other way.”
She rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
I let go and take the hunting knife from my belt. “I think it’s high time to update this carving. Don’t look. It’ll be a surprise.”
Erica crosses her arms and turns around, watching the horses tied to a tree down the hill. “That’s a gorgeous knife, by the way. It looks special.”
My heart twists as I put the blade to work. “It was a gift from my dad for my tenth birthday. I think his dad gave it to him when he was around the same age.”
“Must be nice to have something to remember your parents by,” Erica says quietly, and before I can answer, she speaks up again. Louder now, in a cheery tone. A little too cheery. “The view from up here is spectacular. I think I’ve fallen in love with Texas.”
I wish she’d fallen in love with me instead. An affirmative hum in my throat, I continue carving. Birds chirp through a small break in our conversation.
“Spring has been nice so far, but the summer heat scares me,” she chatters, tightening the hair tie at the end of her braid.
“You get used to it.” I pause. “So, what aboutyourdreams?”
She makes a confused noise.
“Well, we talked about the ranch, and I got to wondering… what did lil Erica wanna be when she grew up?”
“Normal,” she whispers. “I wanted a quiet, normal life. A tiny sliver of happiness to call my own, nothing more. I never dreamed of big things.”
A sharp pain lances through my chest. I know about the past she tries so hard to hide and leave behind. I did my research. It must be a painful topic for her, but bringing it up serves a purpose, and I hope she understands when I continue talking.
“What if you can do so much better than normal? What if you can have everything you never dared to dream of and more?”
I want her to know she has options. That she can have happiness and not just a sliver, but heaps of it. That she can have dreams and hopes as big as the fuckin’ universe.
Erica scoffs, but it’s a defeated sound. Sad instead of angry. “Youwant to give the world to me?”
“I know you don’t believe me, but in time, I’ll prove myself to you. For now, all you gotta do is wait and see and let things happen.” I put the knife back at my belt and grasp her shoulders, twisting her around. “What do you think of the carving, little dove?”
She scowls before her expression softens and a flush lights up her face. “Emerald Erica and Calamity Cain with aheartaround it?” She jabs her elbow into my ribs. “You’re secretly such a romantic! But why Emerald Erica?”