Page 65 of Cry, Little Dove

I frame her face with my hands and make her look up at me. Her eyes are red and puffy, makeup running down her cheeks.

“I’ve never been in love, little dove,” I say.

“W-what?” she hiccups.

“Y’know, that fuzzy feeling, the blushing and the butterflies? Never fuckin’ happened to me. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I physically couldn’t fall in love. Reckoned there was a broken part inside me. Crossed wires or switched poles. The one thing that ever came close to the emotion others describe as love was the release of a kill. Buzzing nerves. Rapid heartbeat. A rush of heat.”

Her head tilts, confusion playing in her eyes.

“So when I first saw you and my pulse galloped and my whole body felt like I got electrified, I thought I wanted to kill you.” I let out a choked laugh. “Instead, from the very beginning, all I really wanted was to love you.”

Erica’s brows arch, lips quaking. She blinks, stunned by my words.

“I know you think I’m crazy and this between us can never work. But damn, darlin’, being without you is like having my heart ripped from my chest. Like I can’t breathe. Like I can’t fuckin’ think or function without you. You’re all that’s on my mind, no matter where I am or what I do. It’s been like this since the moment we met, and it’s getting worse every minute of every day.”

I kiss her and she lets me in, shaking in my arms like a leaf. She clings to me with the urgency of a woman drowning in an ocean of her own tears.

“I’ve only prayed twice in my life,” I rasp, thumbs trailing over her cheeks. “Once, when my sister got sick, and I prayed she’d make it through. And once more on the morning after the first night you slept in my arms. On my knees, I prayed that one day, you’ll want me like I want you. Because for God’s sake, Erica, I fuckin’ love you with all of my black, twisted heart.”

It’s great to finally say it out loud. Weightlessness flows through me. I feel like I could float right up to the moon.

Erica goes pale. She stammers, pressing a hand to her mouth. “I-I don’t know what to say…”

I comb my fingers through her hair. “You don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect you to answer. I just need you to know how I feel. And to be honest, I don’t want you to say it back because you think I wanna hear it. If you ever say those three words, I want ‘em to be true.”

A bevy of emotions crosses her face. “And what if I never say them?”

Lightning flashes, and the clouds burst. A torrent of rain pelts the roof, rapid as my pulse.

“Then I’ll have to live with that. But I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you fall in love with me, Erica.”

“Even if I never feel the same, you won’t let me go?”

“You had your chance to get rid of me, little dove, and you didn’t take it.” I tip up her chin, brushing my lips over hers, speaking the words against them. “It almost seems like you don’t want to leave me.”

She flinches like I hit a sore spot and my heart jumps.

Thatis it? That’s why she didn’t rat me out? Because shewantsto stay my prisoner?

“So… you won’t let me go?” she asks again.

“Come hell or high water, I’ll never let you go, darlin’.”

She sighs and the tension falls from her shoulders. I kiss the corner of her mouth, over her jaw and down her throat, chasing waves of goosebumps across her skin. My lips worship the curve of her breasts at the edge of her dress. Her breathing becomes labored and need swells inside my pants as I sink my teeth into her soft flesh.

“Apart from being hopelessly in love with you, I have another confession to make,” I say, grinning. “You know I like hurting you and I know you’re into that rough stuff, too. But I didn’t just read you that well… I found the sex bucket list on your phone.”

Erica gasps. “That note can’t be opened with my fingerprint because it’s password locked! You have to enter it manually. How did you—”

“The night before we officially met, I broke into your motel room. You were passed out drunk on the bed with your phone unlocked next to you.”

“Oh my God!” Her face reddens and she slaps a hand across her lips.

“Don’t be ashamed. I made all your kinky wishes come true, didn’t I? And I taught you about some you didn’t even know you had.” I wink.

“This whole time, youknewabout my secret, perverted fantasies?” she asks, her voice sounding several pitches too high. “So you did it for me? The knife and the gun, the toys, the chase… everything?”

“I ain’t a fuckin’ saint, Erica. I did it for you…andbecause I wanted to. All that fucked up shit is right up my alley.”

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