Page 101 of Behind the Bench

Once the door clicks closed, I take a seat next to Lincoln again. Turning my body so I’m facing him, I grab his chin and turn his head like he’s done to me a thousand times.

He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them back up to look at me. The green in his eyes is the darkest I’ve ever seen, almost black. Sadness, confusion, frustration. I’m not sure what emotion is haunting them.

I wrap my hands around his neck and lean my forehead against his. We stay that way for a minute before I pull back to look at him again. “You okay?”

It’s a dumb question. I know he’s not okay, I just have no idea what else to say or do right now. I’d do anything to carry his burdens for him. His hands find my thighs, and the feel of them on my body settles me. I can finally breathe a bit easier, knowing that he’s not running away. That he’s here with me.

Lincoln nods his head once before leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands behind his head. “I’m okay. It’s just a lot to take in.”

I lean back in my chair and cross my feet at the ankles. “Are you angry?”

He tilts his head back and forth, considering my question. “I want to be, but I don’t think that I am. I can’t really blame my aunt and uncle. They are the only reason I didn’t have to quit hockey. Well, I guess that’s not true anymore. They, and your dad, are the only reasons I didn’t have to quit hockey.”

“Thank God for them then, huh?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

The corners of his mouth twitch up. “Yeah, thank God for them.”

We both sit there taking in one another. There’s so much more I could say or do, but I’m more than content to sit here staring at him until he’s ready to go. I’m about to ask if weshould head back to the locker room when there’s a small knock on the door.

Hunter peeks his head into the room. “Hey, guys.” Hesitantly, he walks in and closes the door behind him. “Um, I don’t know how else to say this other than to just say it. There’s a few photos and videos of you guys on social media. It looks like the press is already running some ridiculous stories about you. They’re claiming you two are more than just coworkers.”

This night keeps getting worse. I look over at Lincoln to see he’s already looking at me. Neither of us say anything. Hunter’s voice breaks the silence once again. “There’s more.”

Lincoln’s voice is rough, frustration coating his every word. “How could there possibly be more?”

Hunter begins to rock on his heels, clearly nervous to be the messenger. “Jerry called me. He’s been trying to get a hold of you two. He wants you two in his office as soon as we land in Green Bay.”

The world stands still and everything around me fades away. I can vaguely hear Lincoln’s voice, but it sounds so far away.

Everything I’ve worked for could come crashing down tonight. The sweat, the tears, the hours of hard work, could all have been for nothing. The name I’ve made for myself, the name that little girls are now wearing on their backs, could go up in flames.

The relationship Lincoln and I have been keeping a secret from the world is finally out and my future is suddenly in question.

Was it worth it?

It’s been two days since our meeting with Jerry. He had a lot of questions about what he was reading in the tabloids and on social media. The Bobcats owner had called him just before our meeting, wondering if there was any truth to the stories.

After a two-hour meeting, where we were joined by both the head of PR and the head of HR, Ellie and I went our separate ways to our own homes.

And I have barely heard from her since.

We had the day off after our game against Detroit, and the following day was full of positional meetings, video, and small group practices on the ice. For the first time since we started working together, our paths didn’t cross. And I think it was intentional.

Ellie is avoiding me.

Nothing terrible happened during our meeting. Besides the fact that Ellie looked nervous, pale, and barely looked at me the entire time. In terms of consequences though, it was all relatively good news.

Jerry wasn’t thrilled to hear that we are in a relationship. It was the first time we even confirmed we’re in one and we are already fighting for its survival. Becky fromHR confirmed what I already knew, there’s nothing in the HR policy that states we can’t be in a relationship. There are guidelines and policies in place if a player was ever to engage in such a relationship with a staff member, but even that isn’t forbidden.

Jerry was hesitant at first, but overall he was understanding. He and the owner both agreed on one thing: the team comes first. Ellie and I both stated our cases, and explained that we agreed 100 percent with that sentiment. Jerry did get terrifying at one point, though. He promised us he would not hesitate to terminate one or both of our positions if the relationship got in the way of our jobs. We both nodded silently and took his warning loud and clear.

After the interrogation and warnings, Lucy from PR went over a game plan as to how the team will react to the articles. The team will be issuing a statement in response. Basically, it’s a very vague response, neither confirming nor denying the allegations, and trying to shift the focus to our successful season. She plans to have a few follow up statements ready to go, depending on how the media and fans respond to the first one.

The statement is set to release first thing this morning, and I’ve been up for hours anxiously waiting for it to go live. There’s a sinking pit in my stomach because Ellie has been avoiding me ever since that meeting and I don’t know how it’s all going to play out today.

We have a full team practice this afternoon and I can guarantee the guys will have some questions. Niko has already reached out, asking me how I’d like him to handle it. I haven’t given him a response yet, because this isn’t a decision I should be making alone. I need to get Ellie’s input but she hasn’t responded to any emails or texts unless it was work related.

But this is work related. Right?

---